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TOPIC: MI6 spy in a bag case: Gareth Williams 'probably' locked himself in holdall by accident

MI6 spy in a bag case: Gareth Williams 'probably' locked himself in holdall by accident 13 Nov 2013 21:50 #21

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*Adopts posh Coroner's voice*

And so, all things being considered, I have no choice but to conclude that the cause of Mr Oi's death was.... Jizzicide.
I gave due consideration to a verdict of fapicide but given that Mr Oi drowned in his own seminal fluid....
"laws are unenforceable if the majority break them."-humanspirit,
"avoid the concept of an ambassador for truth altogether"-gilly.
Last Edit: 13 Nov 2013 21:53 by dubmeup.
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MI6 spy in a bag case: Gareth Williams 'probably' locked himself in holdall by accident 13 Nov 2013 22:06 #22

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I may or may not try this bag in the bath thing, though it's going to take some planning, I reckon.

Anyway, if it alls goes tits up like this poor chap, I'm probably going to need some good character references, given my internet history.

Please form an orderly queue...
What we are today comes from our thoughts of yesterday, and our present thoughts build our life of tomorrow: Our life is the creation of our mind.

-Buddha
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MI6 spy in a bag case: Gareth Williams 'probably' locked himself in holdall by accident 13 Nov 2013 22:08 #23

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how does being locked in a bag kill you? couldn't you just bust out of it
my limbless friend will die alone
a torso of flesh upon the throne

Violence is not the answer, it is the question. the answer is yes.
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MI6 spy in a bag case: Gareth Williams 'probably' locked himself in holdall by accident 13 Nov 2013 22:09 #24

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Reckon you'll be reet abs. Unless they need to frame someone outta da picture you is likely to get the did it himself verdict anyway , refs or no :chuckle:
"laws are unenforceable if the majority break them."-humanspirit,
"avoid the concept of an ambassador for truth altogether"-gilly.
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MI6 spy in a bag case: Gareth Williams 'probably' locked himself in holdall by accident 13 Nov 2013 22:17 #25

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The zip was bust :(

To make do I stuck oioioi jr. in a Johnnie bag and choked him to death.
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MI6 spy in a bag case: Gareth Williams 'probably' locked himself in holdall by accident 13 Nov 2013 22:28 #26

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*Adopts posh coroner's voice*

Oh wait....Hang on a mo......scratch that, he's alive :)
"laws are unenforceable if the majority break them."-humanspirit,
"avoid the concept of an ambassador for truth altogether"-gilly.
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MI6 spy in a bag case: Gareth Williams 'probably' locked himself in holdall by accident 14 Nov 2013 08:36 #27

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Well don't forget to chuck yourself in the bath complete with bag after you've pad-locked yourself into it, or your attempt won't be authentic.
Warning: Spoiler! [ Click to expand ]
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MI6 spy in a bag case: Gareth Williams 'probably' locked himself in holdall by accident 14 Nov 2013 11:32 #28

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the first thing i do when i get to a hotel is unpack my spy. they warn you not to leave them in there too long.
my limbless friend will die alone
a torso of flesh upon the throne

Violence is not the answer, it is the question. the answer is yes.
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MI6 spy in a bag case: Gareth Williams 'probably' locked himself in holdall by accident 14 Nov 2013 17:28 #29

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oioioi wrote:
Any of them willing to demonstrate just how he 'probably' locked himself in a bag?

Its a test to show you have the capability to go into the field, obviously not :coffee:
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MI6 spy in a bag case: Gareth Williams 'probably' locked himself in holdall by accident 14 Nov 2013 17:44 #30

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batou wrote:
the first thing i do when i get to a hotel is unpack my spy. they warn you not to leave them in there too long.

Do you mean one of these, my darling?

Blow Up Doll Self Service
What we are today comes from our thoughts of yesterday, and our present thoughts build our life of tomorrow: Our life is the creation of our mind.

-Buddha
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MI6 spy in a bag case: Gareth Williams 'probably' locked himself in holdall by accident 15 Nov 2013 00:23 #31

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One aspect of this story that makes me laugh is the fact that recently John Sawers, head of MI6 said "terrorists are rubbing their hands with glee" after the Edward Snowden leaks.

Yet he allows the press to show photos of a building that has been used as a safe house for MI6 employees. :conf:
naivety attracts evil and evil attracts naivety
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MI6 spy in a bag case: Gareth Williams 'probably' locked himself in holdall by accident 15 Nov 2013 19:25 #32

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knobmeup wrote:
*Adopts posh Coroner's voice*

And so, all things being considered, I have no choice but to conclude that the cause of Mr Oi's death was.... Jizzicide.
I gave due consideration to a verdict of fapicide but given that Mr Oi drowned in his own seminal fluid....


:pmsl:
the anorak hides the fact that sean is composed of 95% vaginas
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MI6 spy in a bag case: Gareth Williams 'probably' locked himself in holdall by accident 15 Nov 2013 19:25 #33

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Oh and you're all quite disgusting btw.

Except HS, who's not :coffee:
the anorak hides the fact that sean is composed of 95% vaginas
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MI6 spy in a bag case: Gareth Williams 'probably' locked himself in holdall by accident 15 Nov 2013 22:40 #34

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psketti wrote:
Oh and you're all quite disgusting btw.

Except HS, who's not :coffee:

:heartflower


















:slapem:
naivety attracts evil and evil attracts naivety
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MI6 spy in a bag case: Gareth Williams 'probably' locked himself in holdall by accident 15 Nov 2013 22:45 #35

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:psketti:
the anorak hides the fact that sean is composed of 95% vaginas
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MI6 spy in a bag case: Gareth Williams 'probably' locked himself in holdall by accident 16 Nov 2013 20:15 #36

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www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-24957365
A confined spaces expert who gave evidence at the inquest of dead M16 agent Gareth Williams, has questioned suggestions that the spy's death was accidental.

Peter Faulding, who was asked to see if he could escape a padlocked sports bag like the one Gareth Williams was found in, said that he could lock himself in the bag - but was unable to put the padlock on.

He told BBC Radio 5 live's Phil Williams that there was no DNA traces on the padlock or outside of the bag, and that Gareth's "foetal position" and "calm manner" indicated that his body was placed into the bag after his death.

However this week the Metropolitan Police said an evidence review had found "it was more probable" no other person was present when he died in his London flat.
The true measure of a man is not his intelligence or how high he rises in this freak establishment. The true measure of a man is this: how quickly he can respond to the needs of others and how much of himself he can give - Philip K. Dick.
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