Please be real, please be real, please be real .............

So David Attenborough did an AMA on Reddit and this happened ..........




Well played internet, well played!

Musicless Musicvideo / THE PRODIGY - firestarter

angelchemuel wrote:
I was just gonna post this funny as fuck!

feather wrote:
That's..................yeah.

Nicked.

Mormon Metal!

Osmonds - Crazy Horses @ 33rpm

Why women were never sent to the moon.

- Houston, we have a problem!

- What is it?

- Nothing, it does not matter.

- What's the problem?

- Nothing ...

- Tell me please what is the problem?

- You know exactly what the problem is!

Periodic Table of Swearing

feather wrote:
That fucking rocks!

Also sounds remarkably similar to Beck's Novacane.

For the ladies.

Oldy, but goody

hugorune wrote:

Probably not the first time I've posted this here, but it's comedy gold. Just watch the drummer

Genius!

The latest anaesthetic

The female dentist prepares the needle to give the bloke with the toothache an anaesthetic injection.

"No way! No needles, I hate needles!" the guy said.

So the dentist starts to hook up her nitrous oxide gas and the man objects again.

"I can't do the gas thing either". The thought of having the gas mask on my face makes me faint!"

She then asks the guy if he has any objection to taking a pill.

"No objection," the patient says. "I'm fine with pills."

When she returns she says, "Here's a Viagra and a glass of water."

The guy says, "Wow! I didn't know Viagra worked as a pain killer!"

"It doesn't she said, "But it'll give you something to hold on to while I pull your tooth out."

A virile, middle-aged Italian gentleman named Guido was relaxing at his favourite bar in Rome when he managed to attract a spectacular young blonde woman. Things progressed to the point where he invited her back to his apartment and, after some small talk, they retired to his bedroom where he rattled her senseless.

After a pleasant interlude he asked with a smile, "So, you finish?" She paused for a second, frowned, and replied, "No."

Surprised, Guido reached for her and the rattling resumed. This time she thrashed about wildly and there were screams of passion. The sex finally ends and, again, Guido smiles and asks, "You finish?"

Again, after a short pause, she returns his smile, cuddles closer to him and softly says, "No." Stunned, but damned if he was going to leave this woman unsatisfied, Guido reaches for the woman yet again. Using the last of his strength, he barely manages it, but they end together screaming, bucking, clawing and ripping the bed sheets. Exhausted, Guido falls onto his back, gasping. Barely able to turn his head, he looks into her eyes, smiles proudly and asked again, "You finish?"

Barely able to speak, the beautiful blonde whispers in his ear, "No, I Norwegian...and I think I love you..."

With Xmas upon us I would like to share a personal experience with my friends about drinking and driving.

As you may know some of us have been known to have brushes with the authorities from time to time on the way home after a "social session" out with friends. Well two days ago I was out for an evening with friends and had several cocktails followed by some rather nice red wine.

Feeling jolly I still had the sense to know that I may be slightly over the limit....
That's when I did something that I've never done before - I took a cab home.

Sure enough on the way home there was a police roadblock but since it was a cab they waved it past.
I arrived home safely without incident.

This was a real surprise, as I had never driven a cab before, I don't know where I got it and now that it's in my garage I don't know what to do with it.