Sirens approaching to the front of the house - cadavas sprawled accusingly nearby.

Without further pause, I hastily retraced the Gnome's (I haven't got an umlaut thingy, so you'll have to take my word for it that I'm referring to the small, blood-lusting beast of the earlier encounter) footprints to the back of what we laughingly call the 'garden', skidding on dog-droppings, and fighting to disentangle my ankles from bindweed enroute. clambering over the fence into the nettle-strewn bramble patch beyond, it occurred to me that...

*correction* it occured to me that i had shit down cowboys throat

I'm living in a dream world, irrelevant voices talking of other stories or stories that have yet to catch up with such notions.

What's that I've trodden on now, another dog turd, no it's a wallet. A wallet !! My goodness a gold credit card with my name on it..... A four leaf clover pressed into a small piece of parchment paper ''Love from your pesky pal''.
Dogs legs. Brown bags. Postmen, Mormons?
I guess that's 3312....

I suppressed the sobs of joy / delirium, and plotted my next move, which should surely incorporate a celebratory vegetarian (for SB) sausage butty. But before I could put that plan into action, events took a sinister turn, as suddenly ...

Herman Schultz made his move.
If ever there was an evil man on this earth it was Herman Schultz. A short, bespectacled man of limited means.
He took what he wanted when he wanted. Though well documented and with many international agencies putting the pieces together, his trail of robbery, rape and murder spanned over fifteen years.
The buxom blonde in front of him smelled of strawberries and he fucking hated strawberries, "but no matter" he mused to himself - "she's ripe for the pickin's" - his cigarette breath growing heavier, and deeper, the closer he got.

*Little did he know what awaited him that day - The abrupt end of his life and his reign of terror over*

His gnarled fingers clasped tightly around her throat.....................

" OMG, " , he said, " Nigella, you've come back to me" ... Seems Nigella has a thing about being grabbed around the throat...

Now, avid readers... this is where the story gets even more intriguing...

Turn around, look at what you see
In her face, the mirror of your dreams
Make believe I'm everywhere, hidden in the night
Written on the pages is the answer to our
Neverending story

Reach the stars, fly a fantasy
Dream a dream, and what you see will be
Rhymes that keep their secrets will unfold behind the clouds
And there upon the rainbow is the answer to our
Neverending story

Show no fear, for she may fade away
In your hands, the birth of a new day
Rhymes that keep their secrets will unfold behind the clouds
And there upon the rainbow is the answer to our
Neverending story