All through my life my mum has repeated the mantra 'there is no such thing as 'can't' - I used to argue with her all the time with retorts such as 'i can't bring the dead back to life' or 'I can't fly unassisted' or other such smug meaningless things.
I haven't slept yet and am back on the old 'happy pills' so have been thinking a lot about stuff and that old saying popped into my head. I think she may have been on to something.
When I think about all the stuff I whinge about and the changes I wish to make but then sit back with me 'i can't' attitude - really the only obstacle is me. Often times 'i can't' means 'i don't want' whether that be make the effort, go without, have patience or put myself 'out there' or accept the consequences - the 'can't' is always of my own making.
I could let myself get depressed at this almost too obvious revelation - but am finding it pretty liberating - once I admit that it is me and I am the obstacle a lot of anger disappears and I actually feel pretty damn motivated.
there is nothing that I cannot do as long as I have the desire, the belief and take the required action to do it.
I was reading about the community at BRITHDIR MAWR earlier on this evening which got me thinking about all those people who are yearning for that kind of simple life - its happening right there and in various places across the globe. If they can do it there is absolutely no reason why others cant
www.brithdirmawr.co.uk/volunteer.html
Then I got thinking about icke and his 'we make our own reality' thing - and I really do think he is on to something. When I think about some of the posters on ickes whose' views I particularly despised I actually feel quite sorry for them - to create a reality for themselves whereby the whole world is out to 'get them' or where they are under attack from every side by various different people must be fecking horrible - no wonder they are so hateful and bitter. There is so much talk and discussion about how other people 'should be' or 'should act' and not a lot of thought about what the individual attempting to create their own utopia could be doing for themselves to change their reality.
I think about why I am angry that some people have so much and others so little - is it because there is some evil plot to stop people from reaching their potential? I am not sure that there is persé but there is a fuck load of apathy and people expecting everything to just be handed to them without any effort or compromise.
in the words of heather small and one of my dads favourite songs to play on long car journeys when the only option is to jump out of the speeding car if we wish to avoid listening - 'what have you done today to make you feel proud?' what are you going to do tomorrow? and the next day? baby steps towards our own little individual, as near to perfect, reality? What is it you really want? what are you prepared to do to get yourself there?
I feel as if I am almost where I want to be - which is a really odd feeling - there are a shitload of things in the world that I would like to see change but it is for others to want to make that change also - I wish to see no more rapes, assaults, senseless killing, no more wars, no more cruelty to animals, no more waste of our natural resources or waste fullstop, no more hate, racism, homophobia, sexism, no more hunger or people dying for want of basics such as water and shelter, no more exploitation of peoples time and labour, no more bullying, no more fighting eachother in the name of some deity.
I can do something to make a difference - I shant be hateful, wasteful, aggressive or bullying to others, I shant ignore someone if they are hungry or cold - I shant be cruel to animals or racist or homophobic. I will take responsibility for my actions. It is not much in the scheme of things but it is something.
