jhado wrote:
Hmmm...that sounds right up my street, Jhado. You could be the person who checks they're not poisoned.

Gilly wrote:

May I also be responsible for overseeing medical assessments, especially on our young, toned and eager military (that we'll never send to fight, anyone...except maybe zombies/aliens) recruits? Worse case scenario, I'm happy to muck in cos I'm hands on like that.

I'm also a qualified doctor. No, really.

*although - I only got qualified for the first bit where they dealt with male patients...unfortunately*

*phew...that should be enough to fool sketti*

oioioi wrote:
WTF

Ab Origine wrote:
It's not me you gotta fool mate. Jhado's the one dishing out the jobs

Your prospects look rosey, Abs - Jhado's easy to fool.

That Jordan Maxwell's quite big on this stuff, eh? I've been listening to some of his vids lately.

I can't imagine it'll be that bad actually, as zombies and aliens are two of my mostest favouritest things. Might have to get myself a ps to get some training in before kick-off though.

Anyone got a spare one?

Perhaps not the finest example.

So.......

"Tracy Barlow! I mean, even her initials are a killer disease!"

- Eileen Grimshaw

"You've got as much chance of keeping a secret round 'ere as you have of keeping a tan."

- Bet Lynch

"It's at times like this I can understand why some animals eat their young."

- Gail Platt

"I was really something when I was young. A different lad every night of the week, they queued up just to walk me 'ome from work. An' then the dance 'alls... 'Ow I come to throw meself away on a nothin' like Arnold Tanner I'll never know. I could 'ave done anythin'. Got anywhere. I don't just mean fellers. I mean life generally. I was a fighter...I walked down this street last night in the pourin' rain an cried...for a girl 'oo once 'ad guts, and hope...only she's dead now. I'm not sure just when it was she died."

- Elsie Tanner

"I always fall in love too easy. It's since I was a kid and saw Aqua Marina on Stingray. That puppet nearly broke my heart. Looking back it never would have worked. I was a schoolboy, she was made of wood. I could have got some splinters in some very awkward places. And to be honest, I prefer a relationship with no strings."

- Graeme Proctor

"One does get rather tired of this dreary landscape. This desert of bricks and cobbled streets. Blackened chimneys piercing the sultry sky like jagged teeth"

- Annie Walker

"Support groups? In my day when something bad happened you’d stay at home, get drunk and bite on a shoe!"

- Blanche Hunt



"You know Stanley there's three types of idle. Idle, flamin' idle and you!"

- Eddie Yeats

"Gail Potter, I sometimes think your mouth'd make a good bus stop."

- Tricia Hopkins

"You haven't heard about the time she used real toads in Toad In The Hole? And poor Jack's never been the same since she did coq au vin..."

- Kevin Webster (about Vera Duckworth's cooking)

"If I had my way I'd just like to go like me mother did. She just sat up, broke wind and died."

- Ena Sharples

"It was a very long time ago, and I haven’t touched a chainsaw since!"

- Mary Taylor

"I were always led to believe I were equally good at most things. I were told that when I were at school. They said - 'Raquel - you have no particular talents."

- Raquel Wolstenhulme

oioioi wrote:
Now that is funny.

I noticed quite a few of those were old, long gone characters though, Oi. I grew up watching that, 'cause my gran & mum used to have it on, and there was a lot of warmth & humour in it once upon a time.

But when I attempted to watch it once or twice in the last 20 years, that's been replace by misery and implausible, ugly story-lines & unlikeable people imo. It's not changed for the better.

Gilly wrote:
Aye, there is a bit more 'drama' in it these days but it still has some classic lines. I'll make it my duty now to bring any current ones to SZers attention.

oioioi wrote:
Oh shit! cheers!

oioioi wrote:
Can we just shoot him now and get it over with?

psketti wrote:
Haha! I was just seeking a decent 'crosshairs' picture, to second your proposal, and I think I've stumbled across a picture of Kaiser...

psketti wrote:
No, the community has to decide.

Gilly wrote:

jhado wrote:
FFS

Gilly wrote:
At least 2 of them!

Common factor = Manchester water supply

psketti wrote:
& a good sense of humour.

I rarely miss an episode!
As oioioi points out, the one liners are thick & fast. I appreciate it might fly over some people's heads though!