Thank you for your submissions, all of you.
On the balmly spring night of my maternal grandmother's funeral (and my mum was adopted), my adopted-maternal grandmother called my name.
As I was raised both Catholic (maternal) and Southern Baptist (paternal) at the time, I just knew the devil after me. Shame.
OK, OK...
In the early 90's I had the last of a dream.
I dreamt that I was a little girl pushing a grocery cart (trolley), head down, watching my feet as I used to, and accidentally bumped a lady.
I looked up to apologize and to my surprise it was Nanan. I stared in fear.
Finally, I managed to tell her, "you're not alive'.
She smiled so dearly and said, "No I'm not". (No I'm not dead)
I woke. I was in my late 20's. The woman had been been dead since Spring 1973. She was 80.
Not the first dream I'd had of her.
I got up, went to the bathroom and then wandered down the hall to the living room where I saw Nanan sitting on the edge of the couch wearing her pretty dress and smiling dearly.
I was terrified beyond words.
And then I awoke in bed. I did not open my eyes nor move. I had to use the bathroom badly but I did not dare leave the bed.
I wondered if I really was awake as I thought I was before. I wondered, 'what
is awake'?
Never mind! I've gotta go!
Never mind! I'll wet the bed if that means I don't have to leave the bed!
What was I thinking?!
I dared to open my eyes but a crack and look at the room through my eyelashes. All appeared in order as before.
I got up and went to the bathroom, but then had to journey down the hall.
Was I awake?!
The hardest damn thing was to stand there at the corner and work up the courage to look around.....to see... nothing.
I really was awake.
It all took a very long time.
Since then, I have been both chastised for telling Nanan to go away, and for also listening that only simple-minded and superstitious people believe in such b-sh*t!
So which is it?