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TOPIC: Serious questions about Mind Control

Re: Serious questions about Mind Control 15 Jun 2012 21:45 #21

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Okay...I'm going to try and just spit the rest of this out! :roll:

So about 2 years later, something happened to me. Now I've had sychronicities here and there but I was kinda bombarded by some really weird coincidence. I'd like to post about this separately and in more detail later as I am still trying to make sense of it. It was sort of an "awakening".

In a nutshell, I watched a "forensics" type show about a wanna be actress named Christa Helm who was murdered in Hollywood. She had mentioned to a friend she was "in over head". The whole time I kept thinking of David Lynch and films like Lost Highway & Mulholland Drive. The next day at work, I searched "David Lynch and the Occult". I came across Pseudo Occult Media's write up on Inland Empire. As I'm reading all this MK Ultra stuff, I keep thinking about how it all sounds so much like my friend. But then the Natalie Portman write-up caught my eye because Black Swan had brought up some memories for me. As I'm reading, I find myself connecting to so much of what was written. From there, I found myself linking from one thing to another...all of it hitting "too close to home". Every movie I was ever obsessed with, the symbolism that I had always doodled, my collections....it just seemed that everything that was MK Ultra/Illuminati was "so me". :conf: But I didn't think it was actually about me. Still, I was starting to feel weird and anxious to get home and dig up my doodles.

The day was riddled with weird synchs and strange energy. When I got home, I couldn't find my folder of old art. As I'm searching for it, I noticed a couple of old journals that I recently found in storage. One in particular caught my eye because the sun on the front looked a bit like the sun on the Portman article. Inside, I had written movie ideas. And it was echoing many of the things I had just read that day. I had forgotten about most of these "ideas"...spy chicks with shaved heads, synthetics used for mind control....I'd really have to do write up on this whole day to really get across how uncanny it all was. I had even brought up the movie Steppenwolf to a friend because of my mirror obsession and all the mirror talk with symbolism(not vanity; another topic altogether). I haven't seen that movie since I was 15, btw, but I said something to her about a line in the movie, "guilty of stabbing the reflection of a girl with the reflection of a knife". And there it is written in my journal(I hadn't quoted that in years) along with so many other things I saw that day.

At this point, I was almost convinced my friend was MK'd. It would certainly help explain why all of the music videos seemed to be about her! :hahano: But as for myself, I didn't see that as a possibility. Instead, I thought it had to be the influence of movies. I became kind of pissed off thinking, "Once I strip all of the programming away, what's left?" I was disgusted with my collections of Illuminati-esque meaningless objects. I couldn't believe that, I- a "so-called" individual could have been so bamboozled. I couldn't believe my identity could be completely constructed by Hollywood propaganda. :suicide:

Okay, I'm rambling and meandering. There is just so much to all of this I'm leaving out and it doesn't seem like I'm making my point very well. :bla: What does it all mean? Am I to believe my friend to be crazy? Are we both just victims of NLP/movie magic with two very different perspectives? And why am I constantly being subjected to such craziness(more than the average Joe, I'd say)? What if there is some truth to her story and the other part delusion(side effect of programming)? If I am to believe any of her story, then can't that alter my perception of my own reality? We met in a weird way, have a strange bond...if she were really MK'd, what would that mean for me? Hell, we even dressed up like baby dolls for school when we were seniors, among other things, so I could delude myself into thinking we were "twinned". But I won't. But, yet, I still find myself irritated about how stuff always "seems to be about her", especially since they are my favorite shows/films. I mean, I see the connections she's making but I could make those connection, too if I had delusions of grandeur. I just see these "connections" as synchronicity that I don't understand or old programming being referenced. It's all just very confusing and hard to explain but it's a daily struggle and constantly on my mind.
:hedbut:

I know I'll never have the answers I need. I feel I'll always be confused with "what ifs". I wish I could talk to her...or someone. I wish I had answers. Well, that was a horribly condensed version of what I've been going through for the last few years. I feel relatively sane, though. I figured if I was crazy, I'd just believe whatever popped into my head. So, at least I've got that going for me! :woot:
"Well, I've wrestled with reality for 35 years, Doctor, and I'm happy to state I finally won out over it."
Jimmy Stewart in "Harvey"
Last Edit: 15 Jun 2012 21:49 by K-Bone.
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Re: Serious questions about Mind Control 15 Jun 2012 22:02 #22

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martg wrote:
K-Bone wrote:
Okay...let me see if I can get Part 2 summarized... :think:

So, life went on with oddities and such...

My best friend with whom I could always speculate about weird shit started to worry me over 4 years ago. She had some serious dental work done and thought they put something in her tooth. Not totally out of the realm of possibilities but, y'know...whatever...I'll consider it. She was online quite a bit. She was researching some mind control topics and wanted to write a story about it. Sometimes she talked about making her husband take her on conspiracy drives; basically driving around to "suspicious" corporations, water treatment plants...they didn't do anything risky or illegal- driving & looking. The only conspiracy he believes in is "the Jew" conspiracy. I always warned her about saying too much around him since they have a turbulent marriage.

Anyway, she began to think she was being followed and that someone rigged up cameras in their house. Of course, I kept thinking back to my uncle but, at the same time, maybe she put her nose where it didn't belong.

Things mellowed out for several months; just the typical talk of aliens and shady government cover ups. Then, just as I was getting ready to really stand up to my fears and move into her aunt's creepy cabin in the deep dark woods...she begins to have recalled memories.

It started out a believable scenario. But every time I saw her, there were new memories, each one stranger than the last. The memories were from several years earlier when she committed herself to a tiny little mental home because she was having a nervous breakdown over splitting up with her fiance(she wanted meds so checked herself in). She was there less than a week and most of the recalled memories are from her last night there.

I wish I could go into more detail but I cannot. The stories I heard during this period of several months was so disturbing, gorey, sick....I can't even begin to describe it. And she would always be manic in her telling of the stories...it had everything....mind control, CIA, KKK, drug fueled orgies, graphic and grisly murder, music, robots, and miracles(performed by her). Even though she spoke of how she was "raped"(although it sounded like a "rape fantasy" the way it was described)and how she was drugged and violently murdered people, she sounded delighted by it all! It was so fucked up to listen to. She boasted about how sexy she was....how funny she was when she was killing(but she felt bad for "those boys")and she claimed she performed miracles and was part of a small, elite group of test subjects. She was "special". She said she was going to be sainted and go down in history like Jesus. Also, everything in movies, music videos, TV shows, the news....it was all about her and they were sending her messages. :cool:

The fucked up thing was that sometimes it really did seem that way. I couldn't believe what I was seeing in the videos she showed me. I'd see movie previews and want to scream to Hollywood, "You aren't helping! Why are you catering to her delusions?!?" Part of me thought she was mind controlled, part of me thought she had been implanted with "fake memories" or something...and of course I knew it was possible she was totally insane...and I was right behind her! :loco:

I wonder if there is any truth to what she claimed happened all those years ago. I can believe in mind control, sex slaves and all that...but "the one" complex of somehow being "chosen" and "special" doesn't sit well with me. Plus, I didn't know what all she had read on mind control prior to the memories. Did it "trigger" something real or did it lead her into a fantasy realm. She always said she wished someone would study her and she wanted fame until she got married and had kids. Now she believed she was part of some "study" and she was the "muse"(her words) for Hollywood and everyone else in the creative world. I guess it's better to be a BAMF-sleeper-agent-super-sex-spy than to be an ordinary victim of mass media mind control.

While she was delighting in her new found "specialness", I was in my private hell of nightmarish visions. I had gruesome nightmares and worried about her. Eventually, she told someone else, who told her whole family and they planned an intervention that failed. Since then, she hardly discusses any conspiracy related topics with me. I usually will want to talk about some weird info I stumbled on and she just listens and says nothing; may as well talk to my dog. We've had a couple of chats here and there but things are different and I don't know how her story has evolved at this point.

It sucks because we've been friends since we were 12. We are bonded in such a way that now, after it all, I sometimes wonder if it's an artificial bond. And she's really the only friend I spend much time with, the only one who knows me...
Well, it sucks that I had to throw it out there, lacking substance...a cliff notes version. There is so much to it. And, no, I'm not finished! I'm sorry! If anyone is still reading this...I will finish and get to the ultimate point eventually. :yerright:

I think your friend is telling the truth as far as she sees it, the things she descibes are too similar to other accounts I've heard from people like Cathy O'Brian, Sarah Stanga, Arizona Wilder and Svali
The problem with coming out of trauma based mind control prgrams is that the memories come back in a disjointed manner, it can be a very confusing and disturbing process
Often mind control victims who don't have guidance when these memories start coming back can make incorrect associations like with the movies, I think that's likely to be coincidental but because your friend has been through such a strange experience it's understandable that their brain would look for connections to try and make sense of what's happened.

The same is true of believing they are special, when you have been singled out by these groups it can make you wonder "what's so special about me?"
In my case I wondered that for years until I found out that really it was nothing to do with me, just useful for the agenda (slightly different situation but I think the same thought processes apply)

Your friend needs guidance from someone more knowledgable than me, The only people I know of who helps ex-mind control victims are Stewart Swerdlow and Fritz Springmeyer.

P.S. don't be too hard on your friend for her questionable emotions when describing these things, they were carried out by a different alter with a different personality.

Thank you for your understanding. Yeah, I wasn't really hard on her so much...but she would freak out and start screaming at me for not believing everything she said- like the stuff about everyone communicating with her via the media. She doesn't even want guidance as she think she's got it all figured out. She once told me that God spoke through her that night and she said everything that could ever be said- that there are no ideas she didn't already mention....I don't know. I tried to talk to her about the MK Ultra stuff but she always just shrugs off what I say or doesn't respond. She asked me before if anyone had approached me because she thought I was giving her messages. I wish someone had...at least I'd know for sure. And I tried to express to her on multiple occasions that I believed her mind was indeed being fucked with, just not in the way she thought. Even stuff pertaining to me, becomes about her. It's so sad because she is the only person I'm close to besides family. We've had the same dreams before, ESPish experiences...I don't have a connection with anyone like I do with her. We've always been two odd peas in a pod. ;)

So sorry that you have been used in such a way. It disgusts me...all of it. The trauma programming, especially. How did you get through it all without falling into some "fantasy"?
"Well, I've wrestled with reality for 35 years, Doctor, and I'm happy to state I finally won out over it."
Jimmy Stewart in "Harvey"
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Re: Serious questions about Mind Control 15 Jun 2012 22:25 #23

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Sorry, I should have said more, I wasn't in the mind control programs, sorry for the misunderstanding :sorry:
my problem is gangstalking, from what you said above maybe your friend is being gangstalked too.
although usually it's fairly obvious because it never stops, it depends on the circumstance.
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Re: Serious questions about Mind Control 15 Jun 2012 22:39 #24

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martg wrote:
Sorry, I should have said more, I wasn't in the mind control programs, sorry for the misunderstanding :sorry:
my problem is gangstalking, from what you said above maybe your friend is being gangstalked too.
although usually it's fairly obvious because it never stops, it depends on the circumstance.

Oh, no worries! That sucks, too! :hide:

Well, that's the thing...the gangstalking was a phase that came and went. She's told me before that we are both being watched and that's the last thought I need in my head! There were times that I would get paranoid but I struggled with that for many years prior to all of this. I had this fear of white vans :iitm: ...but I knew I was being irrational and it got to the point to where I was losing sleep(mega-insomnia) and afraid for no reason so I went into therapy for a while. I was afraid I was losing my mind like my uncle.

Anyway, I thought it strange that the gang stalking would just stop. But there is so much that is strange.

Do you have any idea why you were being gang stalked? I understand if you don't wanna talk about it. That is simply terrifying, imo! I'd probably flip out and shoot someone if they were stalking me! Actually, once in the middle of my unraveling, I thought someone was following me and it pissed me off...so I turned around and followed them! :marx:
"Well, I've wrestled with reality for 35 years, Doctor, and I'm happy to state I finally won out over it."
Jimmy Stewart in "Harvey"
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Re: Serious questions about Mind Control 15 Jun 2012 23:01 #25

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One of the things that makes it difficult to talk about gangstalking is that it seems very different depending on who's doing it and what the objective is.

All I really know about is my own experience.
a few months ago I heard an interview with an ex-gangstalker talking about reasons for it, one of the big ones at the moment according to this guy is trying to link smoking large amounts of dope with mental illness. I think that's what my stalkers want, but I'm guessing really.

P.S. don't get me started on white vans :D
Last Edit: 15 Jun 2012 23:02 by martg.
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Re: Serious questions about Mind Control 15 Jun 2012 23:11 #26

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martg wrote:
One of the things that makes it difficult to talk about gangstalking is that it seems very different depending on who's doing it and what the objective is.

All I really know about is my own experience.
a few months ago I heard an interview with an ex-gangstalker talking about reasons for it, one of the big ones at the moment according to this guy is trying to link smoking large amounts of dope with mental illness. I think that's what my stalkers want, but I'm guessing really.

P.S. don't get me started on white vans :D

Shit! I'm screwed! :spliff: :secret:
"Well, I've wrestled with reality for 35 years, Doctor, and I'm happy to state I finally won out over it."
Jimmy Stewart in "Harvey"
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Re: Serious questions about Mind Control 15 Jun 2012 23:14 #27

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K-Bone wrote:

Shit! I'm screwed! :spliff: :secret:

:D
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Re: Serious questions about Mind Control 16 Jun 2012 09:00 #28

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I'm really enjoying your thread, K-Bone. :)

@ martg - thank you for those Mark Passio vids. I hadn't heard of him before, but I'm enjoying a lot of what he has to say . :up:

:teef:
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Re: Serious questions about Mind Control 16 Jun 2012 16:29 #29

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You're welcome cantata, I hope someone who knows a lot about these subjects can see this thread cause I fear I haven't been much help.
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Re: Serious questions about Mind Control 17 Jun 2012 00:15 #30

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martg wrote:
You're welcome cantata, I hope someone who knows a lot about these subjects can see this thread cause I fear I haven't been much help.

Oh yeah, you have been of much help, mart. Thank you. One's enough along the way, it doesn't need to be hundreds and thousands - and something very important was pointed out to me in those vids - the mirror at the centre of the pyramid. Just what I needed to know

:)
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Re: Serious questions about Mind Control 18 Jun 2012 13:10 #31

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cantata wrote:
I'm really enjoying your thread, K-Bone. :)

@ martg - thank you for those Mark Passio vids. I hadn't heard of him before, but I'm enjoying a lot of what he has to say . :up:

:teef:

Thanks, cantata! :)

Yeah, I had never heard of Mark Passio but just started to watch some of these videos this weekend- interesting guy! I'm looking forward to watching the whole series. Thanks martg! :D
"Well, I've wrestled with reality for 35 years, Doctor, and I'm happy to state I finally won out over it."
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Re: Serious questions about Mind Control 18 Jun 2012 13:13 #32

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martg wrote:
You're welcome cantata, I hope someone who knows a lot about these subjects can see this thread cause I fear I haven't been much help.

Don't say that! I appreciate your input! :yup:
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Re: Serious questions about Mind Control 18 Jun 2012 14:22 #33

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K-Bone wrote:
Mountain wrote:
Good thread! For someone who has been researching into this field extensively, I would just advise you follow your own intuition when coming across reading material and talking with those who claim to have been victims of trauma-based mind control and there are many springing up.

Its a very complicated and extensive subject. I personally believe the mainstream media's purpose is to condition the masses on many levels, especially to groom us to accept various belief systems based on religion, education, success, sexuality and other seemingly imperative 'human' issues (basically, being swayed away from our true purpose on a covert level). And I also believe there are using idols and well-known figures who may be going through trauma-based mind control, in order to program them to influence the masses.

I totally agree with you. Though I have a hard time trusting my intuition on the subject, I feel like there has to be something to it. Mostly because of some synchronicities...surely they mean something! ...lol, I'm so "what if-y"! I drive myself crazy in circles! :roll:

I read some of your posts on Mind Control over at DIF and you really have done some homework! I look forward to anything you have to say on the matter. I hope you will also post some video links as I was often unable to watch(using the internet at work). :)

Hey K-Bone! I understand what you mean. When i first stumbled upon this stuff, it was hard to swallow, but yet a twitch inside my heart kept nagging at me, telling me to explore more and to listen and observe everything around me, and that is what I eventually started doing. And like you all these weird happenings and strange synchronicities seemed to increase getting more intense almost every day. Nothing is coincidence, some say. I thought about two women that I know in particular that exhibited all the signs I had become aware of. They are ex co-workers of mines that come from 'well-to-do' bloodline families that were shrouded with all kinds of weirdness.

That Pseudo Occult media blog you mention has a wealth of information. it may seem confusing to most at first, it did for me. I got used to and began to understand how the author of the blog writes in a sort of code. It may take awhile to read it in its entirety, so many articles and I still have't read it all yet.

I will definitely share some videos and links on your thread. I also have links to some books by survivors that you may find interesting. I was just reading something from an actress who claims to have insider scoop on the going-ons in Hollywood.. It is rather long with alot of tidbits and reads sort of like a gossip column but with the MKUltra elements.


indianinthemachine.wordpress.com/2012/06...attention-literally/

Some things ring true while some seem a bit extreme and hard to swallow. It certainly would not surprise me if what she says is actually true. I guess put the intuition to use while reading once again. Oh and if you haven't heard of Dave McGowan and his research into Laurel Canyon, you may find that it is along the same lines of the strangeness of how Lynch portrays Hollywood and the celebrities.






Meanwhile, sending my blessings to you and your friend x
Last Edit: 18 Jun 2012 14:24 by Mountain.
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Re: Serious questions about Mind Control 18 Jun 2012 20:20 #34

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Thanks for the videos on Laurel Canyon, Mountain! I'd heard about it but didn't know anything...very interesting! I was always into The Doors and Zappa- had no clue as to how they were connected! Crazy!

Thanks, also, for the "well wishes"! I'm glad I can speak candidly about such serious and controversial topics in a place where, not only am I not ridiculed, but I find supportive people willing to lend guidance! That goes for everyone! Thanks! :spliff:
"Well, I've wrestled with reality for 35 years, Doctor, and I'm happy to state I finally won out over it."
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Re: Serious questions about Mind Control 18 Jun 2012 21:27 #35

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Just a thought I'd like to add:

In addition to what I've posted above, I seem to always have people in my life who have either murdered someone or want to tell me they've murdered someone. And when they aren't killers, there is usually something else really fucked up going on beneath the surface. Before the episode with my best friend, I joked about writing a book called "Freak Magnet" about all the odd people I've known or been related to! :yupgrin: Anyway, after everything went down with my best bud(but before my own "break"), I received a letter in the office I work at. It was just addressed to our business but it was a guy who thought he was a victim of gang stalking by the AMA(American Medical Association). The reason I bring this up here is, he mentions David Icke. :D He was apparently sending these letters out to all Alternative Medicine practitioners, it was just a weird coin-ki-dink that I happened to receive one just after listening to all this business about mind control. I remember reading his letter thinking, "How in the HELL do these things find their way into my life?!?" I actually still have the letter at home in a drawer. I still didn't find my way to the DIF til later when my google results kept leading me to threads on mind control @ DIF.
Anyway, martg's talk about gang stalking just brought it to mind. Another piece of the puzzle or just strange randomness? Life is so fucking weird... :dunno:
"Well, I've wrestled with reality for 35 years, Doctor, and I'm happy to state I finally won out over it."
Jimmy Stewart in "Harvey"
Last Edit: 18 Jun 2012 21:54 by K-Bone.
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