Wise Haven wrote:
This reminds me of something I seen on QI a while back. Apparently in victorian times there was a massive problem with counterfeit raspberry jam. So much so, that people made a trade out of, and there were job advertisements for fake pip makers. People use to chip wood to fashion realistic raspberry pips. Mix this with overly sweetened rhubarb jam and you have blag raspberry jam.

Its a funny old world eh

psketti wrote:
Birthday treats only then Sketts?

I wish I lived 50 mile away from maccies, it might stop me eating the vile shite. To be fair, I only go for breakfast once in a while now though.

psketti wrote:
Have you tried McManchesters? Local food for local people....

Barm cake with a scrumptious black pudding burger: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barm_cake

SilvaRizla wrote:
I tried to get a Big Mac in Dunstable late one evening - the restaurant was closed but not the drive-through. So after knocking on the door and not getting an answer I went through the drive through (lateral thinking hey?) when they opened the window I said "Brmmm Brmmm! can I have a big Mac Please?" - No was the answer.
"What If I come through on a horse will I be served?" I enquired.
"Yes, was the quizzical answer.
So I Brmmmed off down the drive thru,,round the building and entered the drive-thru lane doing my best Monty Python horse impression accompanied by clippety clop coconut type hoof noises.
I knocked on the window.
"Can I have a big Mac now please?" I pleaded.
"No, fuck off - and that goes for bikes and skateboards too"
So, I did fuck off, as fast as my coconut hoof type impressions could carry me.
I know when the bureaucrats have me licked. Talking to treacle is more productive.
BTW: This was in my younger days and pissed as a fart I was hic!

psketti wrote:
Aye, ya teuchter...........I've got a McDeath about 10 minutes walk away , drive past it most days too, never intend to go in there.

Wise Haven wrote:
Why didn't they serve you though?

jhado wrote:
Though they didn't say it I suspect it was a lack of tie or I was wearing trainers - or it may have been because I was starkers apart from a strategically place sock...... No - seriously, I imagine it was an Elf and safety thing. Their mistake - they lost a sale and it would be interesting to do a nationwide survey to see how much cash has been lost due to this policy.

SilvaRizla wrote:

Summit like that - sometimes I'll have one when I'm through to Aberdeen but its usually only if I'm pushed for time as theres a million other things I'd prefer to eat.

Wise Haven wrote:

When I saw the picture for that link I initially thought it was a purse shoved between that 'bap' as that's what it looked like for a second or ten

psketti wrote:
Well I am moving back oop North shortly, I just checked out of curiousity, I don't have a car so it will be 2 trains and and an hour and a half each way, thank God I am not a Macca's fan.

Actually my daughter and I, when her kids were little, used to wonder if they put something in McDonald's as kids seem so ADDICTED to it.

There's no point eating shite from McMurder when you can get a chip barm for the same price or less.

Babs wrote:
Yes............. high sodium content, amongst other shite they funnel in.

Those toys they put in are to draw the kids in, then once they have them in their clutches due to parents going for convenience rather than the hassle of spending 5 minutes doing beans on toast at home which is far healthier, they are given a toxic chemical concoction that McDonalds label 'food', which seems to send kids bananas, though the hyperventilation is most likely from attempting to suck the contents of a flavoured milkshake with the consistency of a Antarctic ice flow, through a straw

I've not been in a McDonalds for about 20 years but I did used to like the milkshakes, even though it felt like the world would be sucked into your ears when attempting to drink it.

SilvaRizla wrote:
Aye there were some right queer jobs in t'olden days, I used to have a book about them. My favourite were the men who went around picking up dog shit in the streets to be sold to the tanneries.

www.digitaldickens.com/content.php?id=100

Aye you don't often see these jobs advertised up the Job Centre these days not like in t' good old days............

Babs wrote:
Nowadays they would be called waste management disposal services....canine division.

Wise Haven wrote:
This reminded me of a similar late night conversation I had at a Burger King about 15 years ago, after I’d astutely found the doors of this particular outlet to be locked, but that the drive-in was still open.

- Sorry we can’t serve you, the restaurant’s closed.
- Yeah, that’s okay, I only live round the corner, I don’t want to sit inside.
- We can’t serve you without a car.
- What? Why not?
- It’s a health and safety issue.
- But I’m not going to get run over. We're in the middle of nowhere, at 10pm on a Sunday night.
- Sorry, it's just a health and safety issue. You might get run over.
- But there’s no-one here apart from me! There are no cars to run me over! You must be aware of this too because you’re clearly not waiting to serve anyone!
- Yes, I’m sorry we can’t serve you, it’s a healthy and safety...
- What if you take my order, and I’ll stand in the car park over there so it’s impossible for a car to run over me, and you can call me over when it’s ready?
- We still can’t serve you.
- This is fucking ridiculous. You’re just giving money away. I’m just going to have to go somewhere else instead, and rest assured I won’t come here again. What do you think I’m going to do – report you to the police after you’ve served me?
- Sorry, it’s health and safety.
- For fuck’s sake.

wake_up_bomb wrote:

After reading yours and wise's posts there I bet you there's a whole world of comedy out there that nobody's aware of surrounding this very story

psketti wrote:
I'm getting a feeling for the script for this years SZ pantomime, keep going