here is what happened yesterday, its a true story.

me and pheony were at her place, talking a bit.

then, all of a sudden, a huge, ripping, fart sound almost deafening me

i knew it wasnt me, as i have myself under control, unlike some other people

i turn around to her and she has a totaly shocked expression on her face(can you say deer in headlight)

she goes and checks the sofa, saying"what was that, must have been the sofa", she even had the cheek to look at me as if it came from me(kinda what did you do look)

then i start laughing and tell her its was obviously her who farted.

she was still pretending denial, but then started to laugh and released 2 followup bombs.



the flat stank like a slaughterhouse, repulsive

i couldnt bear it and went for a walk in the freezing weather outside.

better to have a arm cut off than to be dead

I'm a trouser trumpet virtuoso with a range of 3.5 octaves. I am qualified to comment.

I find that women's trumpeting is far less passionate an expressive than a man's playing.

To me they sound like they are just expelling gas. Not feeling the soul of the performance.....

As to the stink effects of the performance. It's each to their own innit really. One person's egg is another's dog sick.

Women fart just as much as men do, believe me!

It's great when you get to the "comfortable" stage of a relationship and just let 'em go. My OH and I have been together for 11 years now and we have no shame left between us in that department!

Mandy

quietgirl wrote:
Iv'e never been at a "comfortable stage" with anyone where i feel I can just fart in front of them.

I don't fart very often...truth

hada knew that I was very embarressed....bastard.....

He made me laugh and yes, I farted and yes, I tried to cover it up, but he made me laugh and it happened again ...TWICE....

They didn't smell at all......thank god.. That he said they did... is a lie.

dubmeup wrote:
Absolutely spot on dub.

I've never once seen a woman cock a leg, hand on hip, and release that magic into the world with an "ahhhh" right from the very depths of their soul.

I celebrate and savour every one of my boffs As it should be, as it always has been. The greatest men to walk the earth have cocked a leg, make no mistake.

pheony wrote:
Aw, sorry to hear you were so embarrassed, pheony! At least you're with someone who makes you laugh - there's much to be said for that, lol!

I think women make less of a "performance" out of farting than men do, certainly. I don't shove my OH's head under the duvet and say things like "Get a load of that, then!" or anything. However, I have IBS and farts kinda come with that particular territory so if it happens, it happens! I'm beyond caring lol!

Mandy

The one leg on an object (chair, stool, etc.) elbow resting on thigh, hand on hip move is my favourite. Fart grammar sort of. Parp punctuation.

quietgirl wrote:
I wish that I didn't care as well....but I can't help it.

Mind hada has the most disgusting farts immaginable...so I really shouldn't care in front of him.