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TOPIC: John Cooper Clarke...twat

John Cooper Clarke...twat 04 May 2012 22:04 #1

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:chuckle: Johnny...the 'Bard of Salford'...



Like a Night Club in the morning, you’re the bitter end.
Like a recently disinfected shit-house, you’re clean round the bend.
You give me the horrors
too bad to be true
All of my tomorrow’s
are lousy coz of you.
You put the Shat in Shatter
Put the Pain in Spain
Your germs are splattered about
Your face is just a stain

You’re certainly no raver, commonly known as a drag.
Do us all a favour, here... wear this polythene bag.

You’re like a dose of scabies,
I’ve got you under my skin.
You make life a fairy tale... Grimm!

People mention murder, the moment you arrive.
I’d consider killing you if I thought you were alive.
You’ve got this slippery quality,
it makes me think of phlegm,
and a dual personality
I hate both of them.

Your bad breath, vamps disease, destruction, and decay.
Please, please, please, please, take yourself away.
Like a death a birthday party,
you ruin all the fun.
Like a sucked and spat our smartie,
you’re no use to anyone.
Like the shadow of the guillotine
on a dead consumptive’s face.
Speaking as an outsider,
what do you think of the human race

You went to a progressive psychiatrist.
He recommended suicide...
before scratching your bad name off his list,
and pointing the way outside.

You hear laughter breaking through, it makes you want to fart.
You’re heading for a breakdown,
better pull yourself apart.

Your dirty name gets passed about when something goes amiss.
Your attitudes are platitudes,
just make me wanna piss.

What kind of creature bore you
Was is some kind of bat
They can’t find a good word for you,
but I can...
TWAT.

:D
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Re: John Cooper Clarke...twat 04 May 2012 22:23 #2

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Fuck, no messing about there :D
the anorak hides the fact that sean is composed of 95% vaginas
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Re: John Cooper Clarke...twat 04 May 2012 22:25 #3

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:killinme: Quality!
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Re: John Cooper Clarke...twat 04 May 2012 22:26 #4

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:D You'll never see a nipple in the Daily Express...

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Re: John Cooper Clarke...twat 04 May 2012 22:35 #5

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:spliff:
the anorak hides the fact that sean is composed of 95% vaginas
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Re: John Cooper Clarke...twat 05 May 2012 07:02 #6

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Majorca



fasten your seatbelts says a voice
inside the plane you can't hear no noise
engines made by rolls royce
take your choice
...make mine majorca
check out the parachutes
can't be found
alert those passengers
they'll be drowned
a friendly mug says "settle down"
when i came round i was gagged and bound
...for Majorca
and the eyes caress
the neat hostess
her unapproachable flip finesse
i found the meaning of the word excess
they've got little bags if you wanna make a mess
i fancied Cuba but it cost me less
...to Majorca
(ooze blonde sand gently caresses the cool blue lips of the mediterranean)

they packed us into the white hotel
you could still smell the polycell
wet white paint in the air-conditioned cells
the waiter smells of fake Chanel
Gaulois... Garlic as well
says if i like... i can call him "Miguel"
...well really!
i got drunk with another fella
who'd just brought up a previous paella
he wanted a fight, said they were yella'
...in Majorca
the guitars rang and the castinets clicked
the double diamond flowed like sick
mother's pride, tortilla and chips
something something made me sick in Majorca...

...etc :D
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