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TOPIC: New, Lighter iPhone Hailed By Exhausted, Humpbacked iPhone 4 Users

New, Lighter iPhone Hailed By Exhausted, Humpbacked iPhone 4 Users 25 Sep 2012 20:38 #1

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www.theonion.com/articles/new-lighter-ip...ed-humpbacked,29635/
New, Lighter iPhone Hailed By Exhausted, Humpbacked iPhone 4 Users

September 21, 2012 | ISSUE 48•38 |

LOS ANGELES—The nation’s hunchbacked, out-of-breath iPhone users lined up outside Apple stores throughout the country today to purchase the new iPhone 5, which boasts a widely anticipated slimmed down, lighter design that promises to no longer irreversibly misshape the curvature of users’ spines. “I’m really excited for the iPhone 5’s 4G connectivity and the fact that it won’t dislocate my shoulder whenever I pick it up to answer it,” said severely disfigured graphic artist Gabe Brittell, 32, huffing and puffing under the weight of the hefty previous version of the device that he had strapped to his back via strong, braided nylon cords. “Finally a thinner model that won’t shatter my hip and take 20 years off my life by permanently deforming my torso and vertebrae!” Executives said they anticipated sales of the iPhone 5 to be down compared to previous years, citing the roughly 2 million Apple fans who have been crushed to death under the iPhone 4S.
What we are today comes from our thoughts of yesterday, and our present thoughts build our life of tomorrow: Our life is the creation of our mind.

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Last Edit: 25 Sep 2012 20:38 by Abs.
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Re: New, Lighter iPhone Hailed By Exhausted, Humpbacked iPhone 4 Users 25 Sep 2012 20:43 #2

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www.v3.co.uk/v3-uk/news/2207328/fans-rus...ne-5-in-london-video

:facepalm:
What we are today comes from our thoughts of yesterday, and our present thoughts build our life of tomorrow: Our life is the creation of our mind.

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Re: New, Lighter iPhone Hailed By Exhausted, Humpbacked iPhone 4 Users 25 Sep 2012 23:03 #3

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And if you are queuing up to buy something of course you can camp on the street, got nowhere to live? Move along please!
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Re: New, Lighter iPhone Hailed By Exhausted, Humpbacked iPhone 4 Users 25 Sep 2012 23:15 #4

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Ab Origine wrote:
www.v3.co.uk/v3-uk/news/2207328/fans-rus...ne-5-in-london-video
:facepalm:
I really, really fucking hate people at times.
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Re: New, Lighter iPhone Hailed By Exhausted, Humpbacked iPhone 4 Users 26 Sep 2012 00:56 #5

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feather wrote:
Ab Origine wrote:
www.v3.co.uk/v3-uk/news/2207328/fans-rus...ne-5-in-london-video
:facepalm:
I really, really fucking hate people at times.

I know what you mean...

It's quite absurd to think that at the time all that was going on, there were actually people in terrible pain and suffering horrendous injustices on the very same planet.

I'd keep moving, were I a passing alien species.
What we are today comes from our thoughts of yesterday, and our present thoughts build our life of tomorrow: Our life is the creation of our mind.

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Re: New, Lighter iPhone Hailed By Exhausted, Humpbacked iPhone 4 Users 26 Sep 2012 08:31 #6

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oioioi wrote:
And if you are queuing up to buy something of course you can camp on the street, got nowhere to live? Move along please!

They can't afford the rent after buying the iphone, LOL!
“Fascists are not human. A snake is more human.” - Hugo Chávez
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