And I'll tell you something, too, that's starting to annoy me about UFOs: the fact that they cross galaxies or universes to visit us, and always end up in places like … Fyffe fucking Alabama.

Maybe these aren't super-intelligent beings, you know what I mean? "Don't you wanna go to New York or LA?" "Nah, we just had a long trip, we're gonna kick back and whittle some."

Oh my god, they're idiots.

"We're gonna enter our mothership in the tractor pull!"

Last thing I wanna see is some flying saucer up on blocks in front of some trailer, bumper sticker on it, "They'll get my raygun when they pry my cold, dead, eighteen-fingered hand off it!"

Bill Hicks

How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.

Emo Philips

Gotta love him... says it as it fucking is


edit.... damn you feather... Hicks I meant

Never raise your hand to your children, it leaves your midsection unprotected.

Robert Orben

psketti wrote:
Sorry, I'll try to type slower.