We are all of different age groups here,many have relatives that have past on or still have parents who are seniors or younger brothers and sisters,my question is this.

Should you or do you strongly give advice on who they may want to become involved with,and should you sit them down and try to talk sense into them,about some individual that they take a liking to,whom you may think is a idiot, but they want to become involved with.

This question also would apply to your brothers or sisters,mainly your immediate family, and that you think their choice of a person to date is dumb and superficial,or for whatever reason you know that you have a better understanding of, and you can take a out of the box look at that person and they can't because of their infatuation.

Sometimes you have to let people learn lessons on their own and I guess sometimes it can be tempting to interfere. If a family member or friend comes to me seeking advice about their partner, then I would do my best to give my honest input on it, without trying to bash anyone. I have seen that often, I have known some women acquaintances to do that about each other's men without looking at their own faults.

After all, Its their choice who they choose to be with though. They may see something there that others cannot see, that made them give their hearts to one another. So who am I to dictate who someone should be with? It is none of my business. And I would not appreciate it very much if my partner allows someone to dictate whether I am 'good enough' or some such nonsense to him. And I certainly would not allow for a family member or friend to disrespect my partner.

My only concern is that both are happy and content with one another. If there are too many issues and conflicts then ofcourse get advice, counseling, go separate ways, whatever. Do something about it.

I have very little to do with the personal affairs of anybody else, if only due to the apparent lack of order in my own.

Mountain wrote:
My father who has since past on had a liking for younger women, even when he was with mother,he was so clouded by his own ego that he didn't see through people, and what they were really after,it sure wasn't his body.

But as for a sister,who may be infatuated with a younger guy,it may be a actual physical need she has,I should just ask her blatantly about it and her cravings .
Are you just going with this guy because he's a stud and looks good on the dance floor?

I don't consider myself a meddler,but this is to obvious

I'd say something. If it's just your own concern about a woman being with a younger man, that's for you to deal with

But, if you have a concern that it looks like a bad deal for other reason, I would say something. Air your grievances or worries - then leave them to it. After you've pointed out what you think is wrong about it, it becomes nobody's business but hers again.

Rick wrote:
I understand all that, Rick. I am not saying you are meddling. You have every right to be concerned. We all witness our loved ones make choices that we do not agree with. Maybe it is not as bad as it seems, could be more there with your sister than you are aware.You didn't mention the gap in their ages. I don't see a problem with it, age means nothing! Could be a genuine connection there.

As you say, sometimes we can become 'clouded'. In my eyes, It is all a lesson for each individual soul. The fog will eventually fade away and things will become clear. As Cantata stated, I would say something, only if there were some domestic abuse or something to that extent.

I learned the hard way about trusting fast talkers very early in life.

Which family we talking about? The blood ones that excommunicated my ass or the non-blood ones that wish they could excommunicate me? I am a tad bit confused here lol... I'll just cover them both.

Blood ones... siblings, all older, couldn't give a rats ass what I had to say about their perspective mating partners. Of course, if they were still speaking to me, I'd give it anyway.

Non-blood ones... about my age... know when I am sober, if I got something of importance to say I'm gonna say it (also goes for the shit that ain't so important, but still)...and if I tell them "so and so is an asshole I'd like to take a meat cleaver to" or "s/he's lying through their teeth, just watch the eyes twitch when it talks!" to listen. Of course, some don't listen, go on and date the perspective mate, find out a week later just what a dumbass it is and the whole cycle starts all over again. Now, if I'm not sober, they know just to take the keys, give me a pillow, lay me on the floor and pray I don't sit up and tell them to stop screwing around on the bed right next to my head while I am trying not to throw up.

My advice, if you got something to say, say it. Let them know what you think and then let them go on and do what they are gonna do.

Simple tell em all to get FUCKED ......And Live your own life

I've never advised my siblings on their relationships at all. It's too dodgy an area to get into that could create long-lasting resentment.

My daughter's 18, and hasn't had any serious boyfriend relationships, though she's loads of friends who are boys. I'll resist interfering when she does, as it would probably be counter-productive anyway, in that if I disliked someone, it might make her more determined to be with them. Unless they're really bad, in which case, I won't be able to stop myself.

I know where you're coming from Gilly. My son hasn't really had a relationship and he's only 13, but I'm actually worried already about becoming a mother in law, as they get such a bad rap.

It would be difficult if he became involved with someone who was obviously abusive or treating him like crap. Somehow I'm not expecting him to bring home a girlfriend any time soon if you know what I mean, he is a rather 'fabulous' young chap!

My brother wouldn't listen to me, and I wouldn't bother commenting on his choice of girlfriend tbh.

I'm really easy going and don't particularly get involved with,or give advice, correct, or school a person about who they mess with,but it's fun to look concerned about who any of your sisters may be screwing,and see the reaction of people because of showing seriousness. LOL

Do what you must, Rick! Just answering your question based on what I would do. Hope you didn't take it like I was telling you how to handle it. Trust your own instincts about it.