www.thisisbristol.co.uk/Hundreds-queue-t...67-detail/story.html
We all know what Christmas time means - pointless consumerism. So what better place for the completely soulless JLS to be located than a completely soulless mall at Cribbs Causeway in Bristol, where they will be turning on the Christmas lights in order to attempt to entice people to spend money they don’t have on things that they wouldn’t even consider buying at any other time of year.
As many as 10 screaming fans are expected to line the streets to greet the piss-weak, braindead Blue wannabees. The band have already expressed their delight and honour at being asked to press a button next to a shopping centre, and have promised to try to fuck everyone present simultaneously as a sign of their gratitude.
At the time of writing, JLS were still consulting with local technicians regarding the process for turning the lights on. With deadlocked talks continuing through the night, there appears to be no sign of a breakthrough as of yet.
www.peterborough.gov.uk/news/latest_news..._join_christmas.aspx
Residents of Peterborough were delighted by the news that former X-Factor contestant Chico had been purloined by the evidently completely broke local council to turn on the town’s Christmas lights.
Unfortunately, the organisation of the event was thrown into turmoil when the Welsh-born ‘entertainer’ was surprisingly reticent regarding precisely what time the lights would be turned on.
Council bosses are said to be disappointed that someone who has become so associated with time has such a lax attitude to timekeeping, but with the Moroccan thought to be irreplaceable, rumours that an eleventh hour stand-in such as Jeremy Clarkson’s brother’s cousin being sought are thought to be wide of the mark.
www.telegraph.co.uk/telegraphtv/9657248/...hristmas-lights.html
Oxford Street is one of London’s iconic locations, and no expense has been spared for the turning on of the Christmas light this year, with a glittering ceremony featuring Robbie Williams, Emma Bunton, and as an obvious after-thought, Jamie Theakston.
When asked how it can possibly be justified to spend millions of pounds of taxpayers money on getting some jumped-up egomaniacs whose best days are twenty years behind them to press a button which probably doesn’t even turn the fucking lights on anyway, especially at a time when the government are saying that no-one under the age of 35 should receive the full amount of Housing Benefit, so basically the poorest, most vulnerable people in society are being completely shunted to one side, while the utterly loathsome Williams and fairly likeable but ostensibly talentless Bunton are being paid millions for doing fuck all…Westminster City Council declined to comment.
If you think "being paid millions" is an exaggeration, check this out:
www.inquisitr.com/365256/rihanna-to-make...on-christmas-lights/
all the signing, the freaking talking about peace and harmony but no one follows through, the goddamn people shopping... its not even December yet, try NOT to mention Christmas unless you're going to give a history like it got shortened from "Christ Mass" to 'Christmas', it went from a handmade pair of socks to 20-50 oversized overpriced gifts, Jesus wasn't even born in December you fucking fools!
Youv've got your lights, you've got your switch, just turn the fucking things on.
Or here's another idea, how about they don't turn the lights on at all and save on the electric bill? 
