'The Guy In The Glass" is brilliant poem! Brilliant! I've never read it before, great, bookmarked, damn, I have to write it down somewhere...
But it reminded me of things. All nasty stuff what I've said and done. Making peace with oneself is not easy thing to accomplish. Which brings me on topic. I get addicted easily to things, maybe because I'm naturally interested about my surroundings... One thing goes above all in this, ciggies, you guys remember a while back, last spring I quit smoking because my lungs went terrible when birch was flowering, asthmatic lungs + birch pollen allergy + cigarettes = disaster.
I was four months of the stuff. Then I began smoking again. I noticed my nerves were on a brink of collapse, no physical problems what so ever, but mental shit, a ton of shit. It all went away when I started to smoke again. I guess I really am an addict in a way.. At one time I almost got addicted to booze, luckily I noticed it early and cut my drinking to a fraction what I used to drink. Knowing how easily I get stuck with stuff keeps me away from other drugs than ciggies and caffeine.
About ciggies, I can really say I enjoy it at times, some times it's a chore, a forced behavior. I can easily be without, but with terrible mental state.. I dunno, people seem to have some kind of (natural?) urge to get bit off this world with substances. I know many nearly full blown alcoholics who really seem like they love their booze to the death if that's what it takes. What makes this happen? Devil knows... But when I used to drink many times a week, I really didn't like it, it was like something to fill the gap, something to put my mind on to, sort of escape route. At that time I had several issues in my life which I wont discuss here, but I really didn't like that kind of nearly everyday drinking a bit. I've seen what it does to people, quite few of my close relatives are, or have been alcoholics, it's not a pretty thing to watch. It's sad and very depressing. And these people usually don't know how to answer the question why do they drink... Or they avoid it. I dunno, tis a hard subject to talk about.