OK, this got me a warning at the DIF.

However, I just wanted to talk about fanny farts. I'm drunk, give me a warning if you like.

Anyway. I would guess that this is a common occurrence for ladies, but is this same mechanism responsibly for tricks like firing out darts and ping pong balls and smoking with your twat?

Should we all try and do a bit more with our muffs? Are we losing an untapped resevoir of creative potential?

Discuss...

You crack me up Lesley! (I'm also drunk btw).

It was Krakhead, whom many people (including myself till I learned better) are fooled into quite liking, cos he's funny, who took sanctimonious umbridge at your post re this, and cheesy smelling gym shoes. Which is hilarious when you realise what a pervy, egotistical person he actually is.

Back on topic, the only time I produce one of these is if I'm in weird yoga positions. That doesn't happen regularly.

Gilly wrote:
Why Gilly, you crack me up too.

Yes, arse Krackhead. I bet he has smeggy old bits of toilet rol stuck to his hair too. Humourleess gimp! I think he didn't like it because of a subconcious fear. I reckon he was scared that vaginas have teeth that might nosh his cock off. I read about that in a book on Freud. Anyway, it's all made him wary of vaginas, but not in an Ans way, just in a naff way.

Yes to yoga positions. Can you do them at will?

Gilly wrote:
LOL!!!

HJ liked his yoga positions too, iirc I asked him if he could smell his farts but he didn't see the funny side

andyh wrote:
D'oh - I feel like I should know who HJ is, but I just don't.

I can do them at will, Lesley, and also Callanetics positions that my lovely 19 year old daughter can't manage, I can do easily (when I can be arsed).

I feel I've misspelled it, but can't find the impetus to check it out. But Callanetics are ace - if you want to tone up & trim down (which I alternate with every few months, after enjoying steak pie, chips, peas & gravy) you can literally measure yourself before & after a session & see a difference immediately of half an inch to an inch in dimensions. It's like magic!

Gilly wrote:
Hadaka Jimmy on DIF, if you saw his avatar you'd know

Gilly wrote:
But do the Callanetics make you slim down because you queef out all the air?

I got a warning before, but I reckon people want to know about this stuff. People like you and Andy.

I read you're post completely wrong Gilly, when you are clearly a dab hand.

I think certain exercise moves (waving legs in the air) sucks air in, so that when you move, & muscles relax, the air is expelled. It's quite normal, and not unpleasant.

I don't know this Jimmy. If he was you know where when I was, I don't recall him.

LesleyPumpshaft wrote:
hahaaa!!!
If only I could slim by farting, I'd be on the beans right off

Gilly wrote:
Gilly, I think your birthday is near the same time as mine. How will you be blowing out your birthday cake candles?

Gilly wrote:
Just another one of the 'NaN's' on DIF

andyh wrote:
Ah come on andy.... he's not just 'one' of 'em.... he's up there in the top 5 surely

Do you mean that chap with the swastika fetish?

LesleyPumpshaft wrote:


Never thought about it before, so thanks for raising that question, Lesley!

It depends - bearing in mind it'll be me who makes any such cake - if it's in public, I'll blow them out the traditional way. However, any within the homestead may now be dealt with less mundanely, thanks to you.

LesleyPumpshaft wrote:
He had a fetish with everything I reckon

I think I could become an artist. I could increase awareness of the creative potential of the vulva and its live giving protective, blanket-like properties in the context of a hexdrogomous, LGBT point of view, to raise awareness of the plight of people in working class areas. They may not have adequate access to goats cheese or Ocado delivderies. Maybe some pictures of minges would help me achieve this?

Going off at a tangent, noticed you mentioned goats. I've read up on goat-keeping, and my ambition is to get a property with sufficient land to keep a couple of Etheopian dwarf goats - they're as pretty & playful as pigmy goats, and take up little space, but produce tons of milk, which as well as drinking, you can make cheese & butter & ice-cream with, and soap that's very nutritious for the skin.

I want chickens too, and a bee hive, but th'usband dislikes animals. I dislike him.

Bringing back on topic, goats would laugh themselves silly if you fanny-farted. They have a zany sense of humour.

Gilly wrote:
Did I mention goats? I could have done.

I'd love goats, you have to have two and at least 1/4 acre to get your deffra permit. I would like some for milking, but we haven't even got the chickens yet. It just takes us a real long time to do anything. To our shame, we can't even blame it on weed, because we don't smoke it.

LesleyPumpshaft wrote:
Thought you were getting a dog? How could you possibly have not got a dog yet? Get a dog, for goodness sake. You don't know what you're missing. They're so funny & loving. You need one. Everybody needs one.