Apart from a strong passion for all things Space related it's safe to say I was a freaky kid. I saw, heard and 'witnessed' all sorts of weird and wonderful stuff which defies logic, which led me to develop a fascination with all things occult around the age of 8 and it carried on until I was about 15/16'ish. My granny was also a massive real life crime and horror fanatic which again, didn't help some of the paths I ended up travelling down.
For the best part of those years I wished more than anything else that I could be a witch (straight up
) and spent most of my free time back then in librarys reading stuff from the reference books that was best suited for an older audience and made projects of my own all the time at home, including a small book I made. I also thought Alister Crowley was the dogs bollocks.
I used to trail around jumble sales and second hand shops to with my granny and would pick up books I should NEVER have been allowed near let alone read as a child but my nan ignored this little detail and let me buy what I wanted - most of these purchases where then hidden and disguised strategically from my mum and I managed to get away with them for quite some years. When she did eventually find them, she destroyed them all. Looking back it was the right thing to do. At the time however, I hated her for it.
The books basically consisted of 'fact' filled occult information that I recall being very gruesome and some even contained 'spells' one of which involved cutting someones head of, burying it for a certain amount of time, digging it back up to insert a kind of bean into all the now rotting cavaties, burying it again, then digging it back up to then remove the beans that put them in your mouth.... even though I remember those details, I cant quite recall what the spell was actually for.
Also amongst the books was the apparently true story of a woman called Michelle.... the book - 'Michelle Remembers' is one of the most horrendous things I've ever read to date and has stuck with me. I was 11 and it scared the shit out of me.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michelle_Remembers
Got into doing Ouija boards too, which again was nowt but a fucked up experience looking back on it now and not something I'd recommend - it has a strange way of pulling you in though I expect that was more to do with my feelings towards it as opposed to something else.
Then I discovered weed, started smoking it heavily around the age of 17 and have ignored the world of the weird and wonderful since. Never looked back. Leaves a shitload of unanswered stuff but to be honest, it can stay unanswered as I'd rather have it that way than start to delve into a world again that never ends up anywhere pleasant and thats the truth.
I realised many years later that subjects like the occult in a sense 'feed' of the people who get involved in them. Not sure if that will make sense to anyone who hasn't dabbled in such things.... but I believe strongly that feed is the correct term to use.
*This message may self destruct at any time* 
