Some of you may know that I was with a guy who commited suicide

It's his birthday today...4th of July

So me being me , I have lighten a candle and said a few words , to the sky the heavens wherever he is

But I constantly come across people saying there is no afterlife , there is nothing after your dead

So I'm asking ..what so you all think...I respect most of yours opinions ...I'm I being daft by thinking lighting a candle might mean something?

I would hate it if the dead could see us and think we had forgotten about them

Have a cuddle girl


In regards to your question, I genuinely have little opinion on the subject as it's something I tend not to think about. Did as a kid and I recall it fucks with your mind when you start so I don't go there.
Can't see any harm at all in lighting that candle though

dawnbreak wrote:
www.davidicke.com/forum/showthread.php?t=215699&page=21

^Look at these pole results Dawn....

Thank you

i think theres something dawn.. im sure hes alright. its good to remember happy times.

I believe in an afterlife, and always have. There's a saying that energy follows thought, so if you're thinking kind thoughts about him, Dawn, he'll feel the benefit of it in some way.

dawnbreak wrote: Bless you, I didn't know this at all.

If lighting a candle means something to you then it means something.

Thank you guys

had a nice dream last night with him in it. We were playing tennis , which we used to do alot. It was weird because I hardly ever have him in my dreams and sometimes that makes me sad .

I dream about everyone else, damn I even once had a dream about OIOIOI dressed as Max Wall strutting about waving a bundle of smoking sage saying 'Anarcists like tights on their heads' ??? (what the fuck was that about!!)

Anyway it was really comforting to have him in my dream last night as it happens so few and far between and thank you to those of you who replied, I truely appreciate it

Have you been watching Wimbledon, Dawn?

I don't know if there is life or awareness after death but we are all on a big journey through the universe and can not be destroyed just altered.

Every atom in your body is billions of years old. Hydrogen, the most common element in the universe and is major feature of your body. Heavier atoms such as carbon and oxygen were forged in stars between 7bn and 12bn years ago, and blasted across space when the stars exploded. Some of these explosions were so powerful that they also produced the elements heavier than iron, which stars can't construct. This means that the components of your body are truly ancient: we are stardust.

wake_up_bomb wrote:
I have yes. Are you asking that because you think me dreaming of us playing tennis is down to subcociously playing out the day's tv in my dreams?

We played tennis most nights even in the winter (obviously not in the snow).
We had a rope that we put across the garden to act as a net., unfortunately , one year , I took it in from the garden and it was sitting on my kitchen windowsill.

I wish I had never brought it in from the garden and just left it there because this was the rope Steven took that night and hung himself with

I will always wonder if it was my fault

dawnbreak wrote:
No it wasn't, Dawn. Don't think like that.

It was his decision.

dawnbreak wrote:

Never.

Someone who's determind to do that will find a way no matter what. If it hadn't been that rope, it would have been another. You should never feel like it was your fault girl

Thank you and I know you make sense howver shedding the feeling of 'it was my fault' is not easy.

At his funeral one of our friends came up to me and said 'there are a few people here who are saying he'd still be alive if he'd never met you'

I asked him who said that and he would not tell me , so I broke conntact with all of them because I could not be around someone who of thought I was to blame

It's a shame in away because i've not spoken to any of our friends since in case they were the one who came out with 'he'd still be alive if he'd never met you'

That line haunts me to this day

they just upset dawn and looking for excuses to blame someone. someone looks from the outside on in and doesn't see the whole story and can make up things especially if they dont want to believe he could have been so depressed. maybe they feel guilty and shift the blame to you, why they didnt see signs or he didnt come to talk to them about how he felt? they feel guilty about that but they dont want to
dont be sad dawn. you know you think about it too much how things were sad in the past, but if you think about now what would he want for you? - to be happy right?

Thnks batou

Yes I think he would want me to happy

There was such a weird thing happening with him and his family before he commited suicide.

His older brother commited suicide then he never spoke to his dad again until I encouraged him to get back in touch.

Then when he did , he found out most of the stuff his mum had told him about his dad was a lie.

i.e his dad trid constantly to get in touch with him, sent cards/presents and drove about the area trying to find hm and his mum had always aid 'your dads a loser he's never bothered about you'

Then when he got back in touch with dad his mum and sister stopped speaking to him and actually sent a very posinios leter to him telling him how evil he was

Sounds like a family issue dawn can't blame yourself for that...

dawnbreak wrote: No, not really, I'm just a big tennis fan too, I used to play at national level when I was a kid, I wanted to be a professional tennis player until I was about 13, and then I started playing with people who went on to be professionals, and realised that I wasn’t good enough. I just remembered that you’d mentioned John McEnroe, who was my hero when I was growing up. Now regarding this...
dawnbreak wrote: ...you cannot feel that way. There was nothing you could have done about it. It’s an extremely moving and sad story, I feel like crying now to be honest, but the one thing you should do is never blame yourself. I know me saying that, and any number of other people saying it, won’t necessarily help, but you must try, because what happened wasn’t your fault in the slightest.

I agree whole-heartedly with those who've told you it wasn't your fault, Dawn. It's hard enough to cope with losing someone you're close to, without torturing yourself on top with unjustified feelings of guilt. You're just being cruel to yourself if you think that way, and you don't deserve that.

Agree with everyone so far, Dawny. If you're going to blame yourself, you may as well blame the company that made the rope or the person who invented the game of tennis that inspired you to purchase said rope and use it in the garden before you brought it in.

Suicide, by it's very nature, rarely makes sense to those left behind. It is logical that we look for reasons or explanations where very often, there simply are none. If not that way and on that night, then another way, another night. If someone is set on doing it your actions and words will make very little difference.