dubmeup wrote:
Why are you upset dub?

dubmeup wrote:
No, Dubs, I'm still going to be your wife. I was just confused by the prospect of massages.

andyh wrote:
Because the conduct of a few is what's driven lots of good people away.

batou wrote:
Coming Bats but I'm bringing a nunchucks along, just incase...

Gilly wrote:
Gilly I may be dense but who has driven people off?

batou wrote:
Coming Bats but I'm bringing nunchucks along, just incase...

dubmeup wrote:
Depends what you want from it tbh.
WUB has pointed out that nothing gets done about it anyway so why worry about it?
Much of the stuff, if not all of it tbh is harmless compared to certain other forums, its only a problem if you perceive it to be so and after all, we don't want to come across as wanting to stifle debate etc. Otherwise things are going to get pretty boring pretty quickly and that can be just as bad.

Rick wrote:
Off the top of my head, Anthony65, Mr Indigo, Ronisron - there are more, but my head's sore.

andyh wrote:
But it's bullying / ridiculing / dancing round in circles & driving others away that stifles debate imo. That's what needs sorting.

Gilly wrote:
I hope you realize the reason people get drunk and their body feels drunk is because they have poisoned their system

Gilly wrote:
It'd help if people answered questions properly and gave evidence for their viewpoints yes.
That said...that very same behaviour actually attracted people to DIF you know

Rick wrote:
Yes. I wasn't actually drunk though, which makes it worse - just had 2 glasses of red wine last night.

I think I'm allergic to red wine.

Gilly wrote:
My mother had the worst hangover of her life once on wine, and yes it could have been and most likely was your system rejecting that particular wine for some reason.

andyh wrote:
Is some kind of recommendation?

I'm not upset rick, My views are pretty much along the lines of what Gilly has just said...

The web is full of forums, I haven't managed to find one even approaching this one yet. There's been a lot of blood sweat and tears put into getting the place to even still exist today. And as Gilly said, we've lost good members due to us never ever attending to the basic issue that I'm trying to highlight here. Anyone remember Domathy? A nicer person you couldn't hope to interact with on the web. Gone. Like Gilly said, Indy Ron and Anthony too. The App went, Gris went. Nirvana went. Rewind. Wildhorse... The list goes on. Not all of them for the same reason of course but there's obviously an underlying issue that's leading to good people choosing to opt for the door.

Personally I think saying that this place is more respectful than say the DIF is a bit moot. This place is this place and comparison to other places doesn't mean a jot to me in this context.

The things that happened in threads like the Sandy hook thread are just crap. Me calling people cunts is just crap. These things belittle us all.
On a personal level, I made clear my thoughts the other day. I am committed to doing things that help myself and real people in the real World and that's where I will be putting my energy. Hence why I've opted out of the wider forum stuff. Not everyone is of that mind and I get that. I wouldn't want to stop anyone coming here to discuss events, have a laugh or whatever.
However, I can't sit on the couch in the communities section and watch the stuff that's underlying all these exits to not at least be looked at. As I said, I know where the door is and if the community is saying it doesn't want to look at itself then so be it and I'll be the next exit. I've walked twice now and both times I came back in a matter of no time at all. This time I feel very much more certain of what I am feeling and saying. I'm sick of it.

Gilly wrote:
Well I'm just saying that sean did indeed play that game on DIF. The notanazis vs the likes me me,dub,oi etc.
It brought in 'traffic' thats all he viewed us as, we cottoned on in the end

I don't really see this forum growing much, its a hangout for those of us who want to keep in touch with pals we made at DIF but got banned for seeing what sean was up to. I really don't see new members coming, what new members we do get we already usually know from DIF. There might be the odd exception but what I've said has been the rule this year.

I'm looking forward to visiting mikey in Feb and possibly another couple of regulars which I never did at DIF so I view the whole thing as being positive on the whole and I'm not panicking about anything thats happened thus far, we've panicked a few times in the past needlessly too I think.

WUB still does some good news, batou still does some good jokes, app and gris have made a reappearance, oi is still as witty as ever, sketts is still chilled as ever.

Let me give an example of what I perecive to be the problem.

Here is a thread I started recently:

sanctumzone.co.uk/forum/Members-Chat-Are...-Why-you-Bother.html

Let's leave aside the fact that it got completely off-topic very quickly. One individual in particular engaged in all of the behaviour I've described in my earlier post in this thread. Numerous people told him to grow up and behave more sensibly. He paid no attention. Eventually, I decided to lock the thread just to prevent further aggravation and argument. I know for a fact that the person involved has been warned numerous times, in fact he's already gone away once and come back with a different name.

Here is another thread I started:

sanctumzone.co.uk/forum/Todays-News/8894...Look-Forward-to.html

This simply turned into an off-topic free-for-all. I tried to point this out, you know, remember how we're supposed to be a community-driven site that moderates itself? That didn't go down too well. You can read here on page 7 of the thread that one individual said that he will ignore me from now on (not that I've done anything wrong).

sanctumzone.co.uk/forum/Todays-News/8894...t=20&start=120#90170

I responded by saying that's fine, and then on the very next page he had a go at me for no reason whatsover:

sanctumzone.co.uk/forum/Todays-News/8894...t=20&start=140#90221

When I pointed out politely that the thread was miles off-topic, and pointed out what the topic of the thread was, everyone that was so enthusiastically posting disappeared immediately. Which sort of makes me think that they weren't really that interested in discussing the topic in the first place.

The only reason this forum exists is because a group of people were sick of certain issues at the DIF. That's the only reason it exists. So to let such behaviour go unchecked to me makes no sense. If people want to behave in the fashion that I described in my earlier post in this thread, why not go back to the DIF and post there?

Oh, sorry, I forgot, all the people involved have already been banned from the DIF for doing precisely that!

So my view is that there has to be more active moderation. I am happy to report things if I'm confident something will be done. I can't be a full-time moderator because I don't have the time, but if anyone suggests that I should put my money where my mouth is then I could do it occasionally or on a part-time basis, but I don't think anyone should step down from the existing moderation team.

I will happily start a pledge thread if people think that is a good idea, based on this post:

sanctumzone.co.uk/forum/The-Community-Ch...r-the-air.html#90347

But this would involve people actually sticking to it, otherwise it's pointless. But I agree with Gilly that we have lost numerous posters that contributed something of value, and retained several that behave immaturely and are not particularly likely to convince anyone that we're a more courteous alternative to the DIF.

dubmeup wrote:
People may be nice and you may love how they are, but also speaking for myself in my opinion people are lazy and maybe the ones that left could have had a personality flaw, and just didn't have the energy to try and build up a small forum.

And that no one in particular pissed them off {just my thoughts dub}

Rick wrote:
That is actually also a possibility, maybe they even just got bored? I know hadabusa seemed to,

There's some people I expected to come over here like Armored Amazon but that didn't happen either, I guess we make assumptions about people or have unrealistic expectations.

I thought notty had left too, just turned out she was busy is all and was quite happy with the forum etc.
So I'm guilty of having false perceptions myself too.

andyh wrote: I saw someone post this on the DIF, I think she's been quite busy:

emmadiva.co.uk/

Someone posted where she actually was, which was a completely different country from where she moved to originally, but I can't remember where it was!

You know, it's a crazy world because she used to complain about being on benefit and having no money. Look at her discography.