irrepressible wrote:
That explains her behaviour. Some people will get up on their high horses and say there's no excuse for the way she's been with her children. As you have pointed out, it is what it is though. It's your prerogative to forgive her, or not, if you catch my drift. I won't go into details about my dad, for all I know him or his friends could read this and I don't want to out him in real life!

Suffice to say, I get on with my dad better than ever now. Although he is very abrasive, he also has a wickedly dry sense of humour. Some things are unforgivable obviously, but generally the natural order of things is that we understand and forgive our parents when we become adults imo. In fact, I think accepting my dad was the Eureka moment when I thought 'yes, I finally feel like an adult now - it all makes sense'. You understand why your mum is the way she is, and I understand why my dad behaves the way he does. Like you say, it is what it is.

StarsChildren wrote:
I just don't understand what makes this such a poten­tially dis­as­trous expe­ri­ence?

RealAmerican wrote:
It sucks to be bombarded with so many negative vibrations all at once, is what she's trying to say. I feel the same way at a supermarket.

Whenever I go to the supermarket, I feel as though my head will explode.

Thanks for putting it so clearly Ronisron!

ronisron wrote:
I must be really desensitised because stuff like that does not concern me at all...

Negative people at the shopping mall or supermarket don't worry me at all.

pheony wrote:
I used to find this until I moved to rural Gloucestershire. Going to our local (small) supermarket is a pretty chilled out experience. I get panicky when I have to go to supermarkets in busy places now. Everyone is so angry

RealAmerican wrote:
You're a young person, and if you grew up in the US during the last decade, it's safe to say you're desensitized. It's OK, it's not permanent. I was really tuned out to this kind of thing when I was young too. Now that I'm older, and have made it a point to sensitize myself to different things, let go of negativity portrayed in the media, in my personal life... the instincts that allow me to pick up on vibrations are more acute. So in a large collection of people like at a mall, or supermarket, I pick up on all of these different feelings, or the types of people that starschildren mentioned; it's almost tiring, and it makes me irritable too. I just try to focus on people that are giving off good vibes, and that usually takes care of any "discomfort".

It's not making me crazy or anything, it's just tough to deal with so much negativity in one space sometimes.

@irrie: a lot of people who've had hard upbringings learn how to basically survive with the harms done to them and, because they have no one around to teach them better, they never learn better. They just keep on in the same loop because that's what's kept them "safe" so far. It's sad for them. My mum is hard and aggressive... but then as a child from a large Irish family with a mother who thought herself too precious to scratch around on behalf of her 11 children; and a father who was often out of work because of the economic climate of those times, it somehow fell to my mum to feed her siblings and parents - even as a child (not the eldest). That made her "tough" and a "fighter", which is how she is even today, when she no longer has to be.

@phe: You really should be congratulating yourself from breaking free of any "romantic alliance" that held you trapped by pity and guilt. It's the pits. I was in that myself... and it was like being milked like some Emotional Cow. That I've ever found, people who really do need help and compassion USE it to solve problems when support is given, not simply endlessly "bleat" to garner more emotional fodder and compliance. And guilt! *spits sideways* How does anyone imagine they can keep the affection of someone they're making feel is to blame for anything and everything? Pity and Guilt are "keys" to inner doors that the vampire knows he/she won't get in if they show how nasty they really are.

@Hex: you're probably an Empath. I'm one too (most, if not all of us, are). You have to learn about it and how to close it down - otherwise you stop knowing whether feelings are your own or not, and you become a big, fat walking feast for every psi-vamp out there. There are loads of sites that inform empaths about what empathy is and how to control it. Here's just one:

www.eliselebeau.com/empaths

but you can google others that might suit you better.

LesleyPumpshaft wrote:
That instant dislike for no apparent reason is a good one for me to try and understand,and I wonder if it's completely visual in looking at them,or are we getting some physic vibration from them toward our particular being somehow.

Yes, and there's no concrete reason for the immediate apprehension or dislike for this person, just a sixth sense so to speak you have about them.

But many times when I get this feeling and actually end up talking to this individual my intuition was right,they were of a completely different mindset,not necessarily bad, just way different in thinking than me, and not a pleasant interaction but one of tolerance of them in a friendly way of course but they were irritating somewhat.

irrepressible wrote:
The closer you are to a person that gives you these bad vibrations are the hardest to deal with for me,because they may really be on your side and helpful,but their attitude or the way they express themselves toward you, is at times intolerable,and they know without actually trying how to irritate you.

That is trippy to me, this fact they are able to just go through your defenses like this, and you react in a defensive way to even a simple conversation with them,because of how different their vibes are from yours

ronisron wrote:
I completely agree with you,I just don't understand how we do this,or what channels it,is it just on a visual level, or something deeper within our subconscious awareness that we pick up from them.
We even pick up vibes from someone without ever seeing them, just from simple communication, such as a forum even, and many are aware of this but many don't realize or understand this ability, or the reason for it.

We pick up on these vibes from them good or bad in many ways very strange

StarsChildren wrote:
Ah, I know exactly what you mean, Stars! I am the same way, I tend to pick up major energies in more populated areas and usually don't go to shopping centers much at all, unless like you, last resort or somethin'. And when I traveled to New York in particular Manhattan... Good lord, the energies there were so overwhelming!

I am very sensitive to the energies others give off and i especially can relate to that chilly willies vibe. The energy is intensified if I make eye contact with someone. Some people can smile and look so pleasant and still give me that vibe that makes my blood go 'brrrrRRrrrr'.

I love encountering people that are warm and pleasant. They are like rays of sunshine and makes me wanna sit down and have tea with them and talk a mile a minute together.

I AM ALL I AM wrote:
Very interesting thank you

Mountain wrote:
Starschildren, Mountain, lesley and ronisron - you probably have very strong empath traits. do look into it (loads of sites on google) and learn something about recognising and closing it.

You'll find a lot of blab about it being "psychic" and such stuff; but i believe it's much more basic than that. I've watched it in the animals I've worked with (horses mainly, but my own dogs and cats too) and they unashamedly respond to the "call to close down and wait and see" before they've come forward to link. Their very lives might have depended on it: what if I'd been a horse killer?; or a horse meat fanatic?

Whereas we humans have taught ourselves to overcome our basic instints and rush into "instant friendships and connections". We listen to our logical brain - this person is smiling and saying nice things, so this must be a nice person.... Er, not always.

Part of "the job" of being human is to listen to all parts of ourselves - the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual; but the instinctual too. How many of us ignored the "instinctual part" of ourselves and looked back later, kicking ourselves, and having to admit, "I knew that really"?

Really, still, everyone has this Empathy to them. You don't have to believe in psychic stuff or spiritual stuff, but read up about empathy and understand about it; because ignorance of it leads to a very unhappy place.

It's really a very basic animal skill.

cantata wrote:
It's strange, I'm usually right when I have a gut feeling about someone, but every so often I won't listen to it. I don't know if it's bloody mindedness or what?

We should all trust ourselves and our senses more. We would all be a lot happier if we did.

cantata wrote:
I agree with this, it makes so much sense to me.I feel that we all have this spiritual part of ourselves and that we used to use it all the time as well as other 'psychic' parts of ourselves that we think are lost but only lies dormant that were once quite natural. Some may seem incredible to us, but I bet they were in common use back in the distant days. One thing I have been fine-tuning is my intuition which has never failed me before. There were times I ignored it, but I have learned not to.

I have heard of the term Empaths before but really did not know it was associated with the sensations we were discussing. Thanks, I shall definitely look into it

pheony wrote:

I live by mine and go with my gut feeling on things all the time. I'd say I'm pretty good at 'reading' people too and sussing them out real quick for the most part.

Good thread mountain

cantata wrote:
I don't doubt that it's a natural thing, and that everyone has the capacity for it even if they aren't aware of it. It's an intuitive, instinctive thing. It's the people that do exist only in a logical, five - sense - is - all - we - got state that give off the unhappy vibes. They have no idea why they are unhappy, many aren't aware of what they give off. I'm not sure I want to close it, or that it will lead me to an unhappy place either. I also pick up on good vibes this way, though if someone is physically attracted to me, it is essentially the same vibe.... that is confusing. On both ends. I'm working on it. I will also read up on empaths.

Rick wrote: