Basically, I would like to ask what would you do in this situation...

We have parental controls on my son's lappy and we can see what sites are blocked. We now let him take it into his bedroom to play minecraft and use Facebook in private. The school also insists that home work is submitted via their online porthole and that certain things are done online, as it's a 'technical academy' now. Anyway, he has started searching for porn and has been trying to get around it with proxy servers. He has clearly been researching this on Google. So, he REALLY wants to look at porn (if only he put this sort of effort into his homework). So, he has actually managed to download a bit. Then again, I now know why he has suddenly started to spend so much time in his room!

Now, I'm not shocked, and I don't think it's the end of the world - IF - he is looking at normal stuff.

I'm concerned about the seedy side of porn and the potential harm. Even if he doesn't look at it here, he will do at friend's houses no doubt.

Mr Pumpshaft took him aside and told him that if he sees anything freaky, he loses all access to the internet with immediate effect.

Mr Pumpshaft has now got some sort of fancy router that gives him more control over what's accessed.

Do you think this is adequate? I really feel it's inappropriate and intrusive to insist that a 14 year old only uses their laptop under supervision and I don't know whether to talk to him about the nasty side of porn etc...

What would you do?

One person's freaky is another's norm. There has to be mutual respect, freaky or not, is all you can try and drill into him.

Asking this at this hour on a Friday night might not have been the wisest move either!

oioioi wrote:
Yeah, you got a point there. Sorry,

Yes, by freaky, I mean nasty, the sort that could involve youngsters or other non-consenting people.

If he wanted to look at people in gimp outfits being forced to drink piss from their mistresses shoe*, it wouldn't bother me, as long as it was between consenting adults.

That's not my thing btw.

To be blunt young boys need to wank. I can't imagine he is looking for gross porn but I understand you being worried about the stuff out there. I remember when I was looking for some as a young lad and found something that put me off my dinner. I guess some people are into weird gross things. I think a good education and open conversation is best. I imagine you have raised him well and as long as that is the case all should be well.

LesleyPumpshaft wrote:
I understand your concerns but the things you've mentioned above are the extreme end of the scale and the chances of your boy being remotely interested in either is very slim. There will be mountains of stuff he comes across that will be ample to keep his attention without going anywhere near these types of things so I wouldn't worry about it too much.

Thanks i-baster. The wanking thing is obviously completely natural. As you said, it's the gross stuff I'm worried about. You can even just come across it by accident. Thanks for hearing the teenage boy's point of view.

He has only looked for normal things, so that's put my mind at rest.

A little chat about it wouldn't do any harm.

What mountains would he be coming across.......ooh matron.

Kids these days probably don't get the Freeman's catalogue I guess.

Thanks psketti.

I don't know much about porn. I found something that was so foul once that I haven't gone near online porn since. It was completely random and anyone could have stumbled upon it. But yeah, I'm sure there's nothing to worry about.

i-baster wrote:
I used to go straight to the men's briefs section.

I have two boys... older than yours... and worried about the same things. It's just part of the process that you gotta go through

That's ok then. It's just one of them mum things then.

Yes it is. You'd be surprised though how many likely don't give a shit to begin with. The fact that you do say's alot about you and yours

I've got 2 girls...I dread to think!

My girls right at the beginning of it all and I hate it already

psketti wrote:
Comforting words, thanks!

oioioi wrote:
fixed it for ya....

diamondgeezer wrote:
I had you in mind when I warned Lesley in my initial reply

Kids... who'd have 'em? all you can do as a parent, is your best... I would imagine. I might have kids one day... I'm getting a bit old though