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TOPIC: Aunty Ab's Big Bumper Thread of Agony

Re: Aunty Ab's Big Bumper Thread of Agony 03 Jun 2012 04:35 #81

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pheony wrote:
diamondgeezer wrote:
cantata wrote:
Don't listen to them girl - not at this hour! Put your fingers in your .... and cum loudly.

:lick: :D

There fixed. :cool:

I never cum loudly . :smoking:

What a dirty shame, phe. You really ought to give it a try.
What we are today comes from our thoughts of yesterday, and our present thoughts build our life of tomorrow: Our life is the creation of our mind.

-Buddha
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Re: Aunty Ab's Big Bumper Thread of Agony 03 Jun 2012 07:47 #82

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Ab Origine wrote:
pheony wrote:
diamondgeezer wrote:
cantata wrote:
Don't listen to them girl - not at this hour! Put your fingers in your .... and cum loudly.

:lick: :D

There fixed. :cool:

I never cum loudly . :smoking:

What a dirty shame, phe. You really ought to give it a try.

I'd be embarrassed a bit, if I really "let it all out" so to speak :emb:

:chuckle:
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Re: Aunty Ab's Big Bumper Thread of Agony 03 Jun 2012 07:56 #83

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That's just reminded me of something that my ex gf said to me. We were, y'know...being intimate, in my bedroom...in the daytime, and my mum and bro were downstairs :emb: :facepalm: and I was err, "getting close to the finale" when my ex said "I want you to cum loud". I was :O What?! :emb: :emb: :emb: It completely put me off and that was that. No happy ending for me :chuckle:

Weird though. Why the hell would she have wanted the whole house to know we were doing the naughty? :chuckle:
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Re: Aunty Ab's Big Bumper Thread of Agony 03 Jun 2012 10:37 #84

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Ab Origine wrote:
quietgirl wrote:
Dear Auntie Abs, my problem tonight is that I can't get to sleep, due to "stuff" going round and round my head! So I'm up at silly o'clock with a cup of decaf! :(

Mandy

Dearest Mandy,

I hope you did finally manage to nod off. I, myself am still buzzing my tits off but will probably collapse at some point over the next week or so.

You mention "stuff" going round and round your head; have you left any of your windows open? The only other explanation I can come up with is that you may be suffering from a poltergeist infestation. This can get nasty and I suggest you seek the advice of a priest/holy man/spiritualist quick sharp.

I'm actually a close personal of one Mr Derek Acorah and I'd be more than happy to put a word in for you, if you'd like. The only other advice I can give you in the mean time is to get yourself into a cupboard or confined space as quickly as possible, if only that you might get a few hours kip, poor love.

As for the other half, I wouldn't bother waking him as he doubtless won't be much use. If you need something doing badly enough, do it yourself, is my motto. Did you read Cantata's post re wrist action?

All my love,
Aunty Abs
xxxx

My lovely Aunty Abs,

I did manage to get off to sleep eventually, thanks so much for asking! Feel a bit done in today, though! Your poltergeist theory is most interesting, and might well be worth looking into. Most funny noises around here emanate from Mr. Quietgirl but you never know...

Kindest regards,

Mandy
All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well. - Mother Julian of Norwich
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Re: Aunty Ab's Big Bumper Thread of Agony 03 Jun 2012 10:39 #85

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irrepressible wrote:
Ab Origine wrote:
pheony wrote:
diamondgeezer wrote:
cantata wrote:
Don't listen to them girl - not at this hour! Put your fingers in your .... and cum loudly.

:lick: :D

There fixed. :cool:

I never cum loudly . :smoking:

What a dirty shame, phe. You really ought to give it a try.

I'd be embarrassed a bit, if I really "let it all out" so to speak :emb:

:chuckle:

Oh Lord, the last time I let it all hang out, I forgot that all the windows were open and there were people outside (we live right by a bus-stop!), lol! :D

I CANNOT believe I just admitted to that! :emb: :emb: :O

Mandy
All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well. - Mother Julian of Norwich
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Re: Aunty Ab's Big Bumper Thread of Agony 03 Jun 2012 12:20 #86

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quietgirl wrote:
irrepressible wrote:
Ab Origine wrote:
pheony wrote:
diamondgeezer wrote:
cantata wrote:
Don't listen to them girl - not at this hour! Put your fingers in your .... and cum loudly.

:lick: :D

There fixed. :cool:

I never cum loudly . :smoking:

What a dirty shame, phe. You really ought to give it a try.

I'd be embarrassed a bit, if I really "let it all out" so to speak :emb:

:chuckle:

Oh Lord, the last time I let it all hang out, I forgot that all the windows were open and there were people outside (we live right by a bus-stop!), lol! :D

I CANNOT believe I just admitted to that! :emb: :emb: :O

Mandy

:O

If your name were psketti, I'd have to be calling you a slut right now. :chuckle:

@ irre and co, personally, I find a noisy climax rather a turn-on. There's nothing worse than working up a sweat on someone only to have them lie there like a sack of spuds and not make any kind of noise or indication that they're about to "arrive". It's just plain rude, imo.

Fancy discussing such things on a Sunday, and a Jubilee weekend at that. LOVE IT. :D
What we are today comes from our thoughts of yesterday, and our present thoughts build our life of tomorrow: Our life is the creation of our mind.

-Buddha
Last Edit: 03 Jun 2012 12:21 by Abs.
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Re: Aunty Ab's Big Bumper Thread of Agony 03 Jun 2012 12:24 #87

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I wonder if a young Queen Liz used to cum noisily, when phil the greek was having her from behind on the royal yacht... :scotty:
Forget yesterday. It has already forgotten you.
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Re: Aunty Ab's Big Bumper Thread of Agony 03 Jun 2012 12:27 #88

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jhado wrote:
I wonder if a young Queen Liz used to cum noisily, when phil the greek was having her from behind on the royal yacht... :scotty:

"Phil? Is one awake? One wishes to be given the royal orgasm"

What a horrible thought! :barfonu:

I don't think they can have orgasms tbh :chuckle:
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Re: Aunty Ab's Big Bumper Thread of Agony 03 Jun 2012 12:31 #89

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jhado wrote:
I wonder if a young Queen Liz used to cum noisily, when phil the greek was having her from behind on the royal yacht... :scotty:

Mmmmm...greek men. Now, there's a very fine thing.

I think you'd have to do it loudly with a Greek, even Phil. I hear they like it all sweaty and noisy and stuff.

Although I'm not too keen on thinking about that pair of rancid, old scrotes bumping their dry flesh together, tbh. :barfonu:

I'll stick with the greek men thing for a bit though.
What we are today comes from our thoughts of yesterday, and our present thoughts build our life of tomorrow: Our life is the creation of our mind.

-Buddha
Last Edit: 03 Jun 2012 12:31 by Abs.
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Re: Aunty Ab's Big Bumper Thread of Agony 03 Jun 2012 13:15 #90

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quietgirl wrote:
irrepressible wrote:
Ab Origine wrote:
pheony wrote:
diamondgeezer wrote:
cantata wrote:
Don't listen to them girl - not at this hour! Put your fingers in your .... and cum loudly.

:lick: :D

There fixed. :cool:

I never cum loudly . :smoking:

What a dirty shame, phe. You really ought to give it a try.

I'd be embarrassed a bit, if I really "let it all out" so to speak :emb:

:chuckle:

Oh Lord, the last time I let it all hang out, I forgot that all the windows were open and there were people outside (we live right by a bus-stop!), lol! :D

I CANNOT believe I just admitted to that! :emb: :emb: :O

Mandy

I just whimper like a wounded animal. :kisskiss:
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Re: Aunty Ab's Big Bumper Thread of Agony 03 Jun 2012 13:30 #91

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I go off like an atomic bomb :emb: albeit a pretty quiet one :D
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Re: Aunty Ab's Big Bumper Thread of Agony 03 Jun 2012 13:36 #92

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And my legs twitch. :yup: :teef:
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Re: Aunty Ab's Big Bumper Thread of Agony 03 Jun 2012 15:55 #93

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Ab Origine wrote:
cantata wrote:
Dear Aunty Abs, patron saint of those with agonies, please will you help with my problem - especially as I've heard you are so expert with "techniques":



(And, no, my problem isn't my taste in music).

I am relying on you, Aunty Abs.

:rose: :kiss: :heart: :silly:

Dearest Cantata,

I have it on very good authority that the secret to successful boomerangage is in the wrist action. How is your wrist action currently? Had any complaints recently? I hear this complaint from quite a few folks really. You ladies (and some fellas too) do tend to get a bit over-zealous, particularly if you've something on the stove or there is something good on telly you think you're going to miss.

Ideally, you're looking for easy, free strokes. Again, I don't like to blow my own trumpet (well, I would if I could, actually) but I am rather expert at wrist action for various reasons to numerous to go into here. Perhaps we can meet up one day soon and I can take you through some step by step wrist manoeuvres?

Let me know.

All my love,
Aunty Abs
xxx

Ah, yes... I see what you're saying:



Thank you Aunty Abs. That's my chicken dinner sorted for today.



Ooops! DUCK!!! :facepalm: :fraid: :omg:
There is no such thing as Thin Air: Thin Air is full of the particles of creation.

Take something that costs you nothing but effort;
And practice, practice, practice until you make it something fabulous.

"...Wyrde saves oft the man undoomed
If he undaunted be....". (Beowulf)....
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Re: Aunty Ab's Big Bumper Thread of Agony 03 Jun 2012 21:00 #94

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I open an "agony thread" and you're discussing sex with Greeks!

Oh the agony and woe is me!

:woot:
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Last Edit: 03 Jun 2012 21:00 by oioioi.
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Re: Aunty Ab's Big Bumper Thread of Agony 03 Jun 2012 22:09 #95

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oioioi wrote:
I open an "agony thread" and you're discussing sex with Greeks!

Oh the agony and woe is me!

:woot:

and this is accepted as quite a serious thread here on sanctumzone

gotta love it.
Forget yesterday. It has already forgotten you.
Last Edit: 03 Jun 2012 22:10 by jhado. Reason: it was free.
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Re: Aunty Ab's Big Bumper Thread of Agony 04 Jun 2012 03:57 #96

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diamondgeezer wrote:
cantata wrote:
Don't listen to them girl - not at this hour! Put your fingers in your .... and cum loudly.

:lick: :D

There fixed. :cool:

:O

:pmsl:
the anorak hides the fact that sean is composed of 95% vaginas
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Re: Aunty Ab's Big Bumper Thread of Agony 06 Jun 2012 07:37 #97

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I remember when that British Navy ship was in town in Tampa back in the late 80's, docked at Harbour Island............it really is spelled HarboUr Island.

(Anything considered fancy in USA is spelled British style. That way, they can charge more for the property.)

Back when it was Seddon Island, the place for rusting hulks, when I as a kid, it was considered an unsightly dump in the bay. Later the EPA got all uppity about it, next thing ya know, 80's money made it all better. They built a tram and all to easily access the place instead of that rickety ol' wooden bridge. Just sayin'.

Oh...... yes, they were very nice people those British Naval guys......so I read in the newspaper. :kisskiss:

I stayed home and read wholesome literature. Ask Phem.
"If you see your face is dirty in the mirror, do you wash the mirror?"
Last Edit: 07 Jun 2012 03:51 by Coco. Reason: R
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Re: Aunty Ab's Big Bumper Thread of Agony 06 Jun 2012 15:39 #98

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Coco wrote:

(Anything considered fancy in USA is spelled British style. That way, they can charge more for the property.)

It must be some sort of conspiracy!

It's true though, you can't beat a nice bit of British beef. I think it's the fact that we're so down-trodden and miserable most of the time, when we're nekkid or drunk, we really go for it. Excellent.

Don't worry though coco. Apparently, all the nice girls love a sailor. And so do the nice boys. ;)
What we are today comes from our thoughts of yesterday, and our present thoughts build our life of tomorrow: Our life is the creation of our mind.

-Buddha
Last Edit: 06 Jun 2012 15:40 by Abs.
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Re: Aunty Ab's Big Bumper Thread of Agony 06 Jun 2012 17:54 #99

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And spuds! You can't get a decent spud out here. No amount of butter or milk can make em mash well :(
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Re: Aunty Ab's Big Bumper Thread of Agony 07 Jun 2012 03:52 #100

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Ab Origine wrote:
Coco wrote:

(Anything considered fancy in USA is spelled British style. That way, they can charge more for the property.)

It must be some sort of conspiracy!

It's true though, you can't beat a nice bit of British beef. I think it's the fact that we're so down-trodden and miserable most of the time, when we're nekkid or drunk, we really go for it. Excellent.

Don't worry though coco. Apparently, all the nice girls love a sailor. And so do the nice boys. ;)

You silly kitty in a couch. :) :flower:
"If you see your face is dirty in the mirror, do you wash the mirror?"
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