It occurred to me recently that there are a lot of people out there in need of some kindness, compassion and a listening ear, particularly in these times of austerity and turbulance.

Although I know nothing of kindness, compassion or of being a 'listening ear', I am quite familiar with austerity and turbulance. I also love busying myself in other people's bidness.

Something on your mind?

Problems you can't really talk to your loved ones about?

Unrequited love?

Sexual dysfunctions?

Embarassing bodies?

Come and talk to Aunty Ab. I may not be able to help in the slightest (in fact, that's a bit of a given), but at the very least you'll give us all a good laugh.

I'm here for YOU.



*Important disclaimer* The above image is in no way 'me'.

I suddenly want to keep things to myself more now

irrepressible wrote:
Come on irre...surely I can help with something?

What about all those ladies you have on the go? They must give you some aggro.

Whatever you tell me is strictly confidential and for my eyes (and the eyes of every member or visitor to this forum) only.

I promise.

cantata wrote:
Don't be afraid...

*Rustles crisp bag to entice hesitant posters*

ok Aunty Abs, I need a bit of love advice.

You see, I've been seeing an older woman on & off recently. Quite a bit older actually.

Thing is, I think she's been cheating on me, with several other blokes. Quite a few other blokes actually...

I think you might know her (novum & batou do thats for sure) Her name is mrsmcgregor.

So what should I do? Should I confront the old slapper with my suspicions? Or is it best not to know at the end of the day...

Please help...I'm at my wits end.

Thanx, DG

Dear Aunty Abs,

I hope you will respect my desire to remain anonymous and not reveal my ID to the wider forum.

My tale of woe started a month or two ago now when I joined a forum on the tinterweb.

Ever since, one particular member has been doing their best to make me feel small and appear foolish in public. I really have tried everything I can think of to placate this bully. I can't think of any reason why she (oops please edit that bit) would be so unkind to me. I've certainly never given her (see last parenthesis) any reason whatsoever to treat me with such disdain. She (as above) is making my online life a living nightmare. If I were a younger, less battle hardened member of the resistance, I may be pushed into doing something um, unwise.

Thank you in advance for any advice you may have.

Yours, dub. (Can you edit that bit anorl please, if pskets ever finds out I wrote this, my online existence won't be worth living, ta)

diamondgeezer wrote:
hey dg, mrs mcgregor says she has enough holes for everyone. does she run a golf course?

batou wrote:


I thought she ran a shooting gallery actually, because she told me that you & novum have been firing blanks..

diamondgeezer wrote:

diamondgeezer wrote:

Ba da ba da ting!!!!

dubmeup wrote:

What was originally here doesn't belong in this thread

psketti wrote:
First off, ^ look another example of a little dig at dub


Second, ab you blinker! I asked for you to keep me anonymous

dubmeup wrote:

Oh boofuckinghoo

Save it sunshine, you're patheticness doesn't work on me... now man up and give me something I can get my teeth into before I grow extremely bored

Call yourself a warrior?

psketti wrote:
Well done, the trap has been sprung. My little show of feigned weakness has brought you out in the open. Now all can see the true colours of psket

dubmeup wrote:
Give me a fucking break

When have I EVER shown anything other than pure me? Show me

diamondgeezer wrote:
Poor, poor DG.

I feel for you, I really do. I have heard of 'Mrs M' in various swingers and S&M circles and it may interest you to know she is effectionately known as 'Annie Clap' or 'VD Vera' by many of these people. The ladies at the bingo also inform me that she's "fast".

I tell you this to help you, you understand. If I were you, I'd quit dipping my wick in that particular vat of ink pretty sharpish. Get thee to a GUM clinic quick and there may still be hope for you.

You look like a nice enough chap. I'm quite sure you could do a lot better than that rancid, old scrote, to be perfectly honest. You really must start thinking more of yourself.

After all, if you don't love yourself, how the hell do you expect anyone else to love you?

From what I know of 'she', she loves no one but herself, admittedly not enough to even pop on a prophylactic occasionally, but that's the measure of the woman I suppose. No breeding, you see. Or perhaps, far too much 'breeding' thinking about it.

Either way, if you prize your family jewels at all, stop polishing them in muck.

I happen to know of a few nice young ladies on here and would be happy to PM you details if you're interested. They may require a blood test and GPs cert before taking things further though, given what you have already divulged.

Much love,

Aunty Ab xx

ANONYMOUS wrote:
Dearest ANONYMOUS,

I have a feeling I know to whom you are referring and I'll be perfectly frank, he/she has a bit of a rep for it.

I believe a lot of it is about sexual attraction. I'm sure you'd be the first to acknowledge that you're a bit of a handsome young buck, and this is exactly the sort he/she tends to go for.

You'll notice that members of the same sex and old people don't tend to get so much stick from this person. Now, you know why.

The only advice I can really offer is to watch your back with this one. They are particularly snidey and two-faced and will do just about anything to get to you, one way or the other. They will probably push you to the very edge, only to snap back all 'nicey, nicey' at you and come over all friendly-like.

I've witnessed this for myself. Just watch yourself and don't let your guard down for a second. By all means be civil, but never agree to meet this person on a one to one and certainly don't divulge any personal info such as address or bank accounts to them.

In summary, don't do anything 'unwise', as that's probably exactly what they want you to do, if only so as they can turn the whole thing around and make like they're your bestest friend. If you have any further trouble from this bully, you just let me know and I'll see what I can do for you.

And just try and remember, to this person, pain is love. If you feel anything at all for them, try pity. And continue to be the shining beacon of resistance that you quite clearly are.

Much love,

Aunty Ab xx